


A Tale of Two Tarkirs

by Shorewall



Category: Magic: The Gathering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 42,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6979009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shorewall/pseuds/Shorewall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In one life, Khans ruled Tarkir.  In the other, Dragons.  One man is called to decide, which life will have a future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was, Javed decided, one thing to brave the Arashin wastes. It was another to to do so in broad daylight, in full armor, on patrol. Sigh. He reinforced his determination again. It would do no good to whine or complain. In fact, feeling sorry for oneself was a good way to get killed. Not by a commanding officer, who knew exactly how much marching through the desert sucked. Not by their scalelord, who had better things to do than manage individual morale. No, the danger was all around them. The wastes themselves.

The desert could kill a strong man in hours. In order to survive, you needed to be mentally strong. Never let down your guard, never slack on discipline. The desert had no mercy. Yet the Dromoka clan knew how to endure.

One of the ways was to carry plenty of supplies, Javed thought as he made his way to the supply wagon. “Water!” he called out, firm but calm. Just enough to attract the attention of the quartermaster, but not enough to seem brash.

The driver shook his head. “We need to make five more miles before we stop to rest. You'll just need to wait. Or ask someone to share,” he smirked. 

Javed narrowed his eyes in irritation, turning away. “Yeah right,” he muttered. He wasn't deathly thirsty, but he wanted to keep away from the edge if at all possible. Apparently the quartermaster's idea of where the edge lay was different from his.

“Javed!” he heard a voice call. He turned to see one of his fellow soldiers, a young woman named Ester, making her way to his side. They had been in the same training class, and were both now experiencing, or rather, enduring, their first patrol. They hadn't been sent to the borderlands, so there was little chance of seeing action out here. Which was fine with Javed. He was just getting used to the strenuous pace. He didn't need a battle to break out on top of that.

“Ester!” he smiled as they fell into step together. She reached into her side bag, and pulled out her water skin. 

“I still have some water left, here have a drink,” she held it out to him. 

Javed shook his head. “No, I couldn't. I can make it.”

Ester insisted. “It's not like we're gonna have to wait that long to get restocked. Plus, you're way bigger than me. You need more water anyway.” 

Javed felt terribly guilty, but didn't want to deny Ester's kindness. In the desert, working together was the only way to survive long. Pride had to fall out of the picture. He bowed his head in gratitude, and accepted the proffered drink. He brought the spout to his lips, then hesitated. It was natural instinct to drink your fill. But natural instinct would work against you out here.

He mindfully wet his lips first. Then he took the slightest sip to acclimate his dry mouth. Then a little more, and then a little more. A mouthful at a time, with a break between them. It was important to maintain this discipline. Ester watched him out of the corner of her eye. If he lost himself, she would stop him.

When he felt the slightest bit more hydrated, he forced himself to stop. He knew what it was like to drink too much water, as strange as that sounded. The only way to deal with constant lack, was to condition yourself to live with less. Any indulgence would derail that conditioning, and destroy the discipline that was essential to survival.

Ester took the water skin back with a smile, and drifted off a few steps. Now that their conversation was finished, they each desired to focus on the march. Javed let his mind wander. That had been kind of Ester. She was a loyal comrade, and a true servant of the clan. She was easy to get along with. All of these were the standards that he valued as well. If it were up to him, he might even ask her to go for a walk with him, after they got back to the aerie.

But it wasn't up to him. The scalelords, and often Dragonlord Dromoka herself, decided who among them would be allowed to enter into relationships of that nature. Service to the clan was a large determining factor, though not the only one. You had to be healthy and have a reputation for loyalty. And then the scalelords would take into account some compatibility, enough to ensure a satisfactory relationship. But since the children born to these couples were taken to other aeries to be raised, thereby distributing the family of the clan amongst the whole, there was no need for a long term relationship.

Javed surely knew of some couples who stayed together, but the norm was for couples to pair up as necessary and mate. Then the father would move on, his role finished, while the mother carried the child to term while serving the clan in non-combat roles. During this time, the clan rallied around to support the expectant mother, as the role of mother was highly praised in Dromokan society. Once the child was born, he or she was taken to another aerie to be raised there.

All of this helped ensure the unity of the clan, while avoiding the formation of selfish bonds based on blood line. Family meant the aerie where you lived, and the scalelord whom you served. Anything else was unbecoming of a member of the Dromoka clan.

As Javed pondered these things, he heard a familiar cry ring through the air. He turned quickly to witness the imminent arrival of their scalelord, the dragon Katar. The main formation, with Katar's mobile aerie, was far distant, yet the dragon made up the distance with ease as she cut through the air. An air of expectancy fell over their patrol, and Javed allowed himself to admire the power and majesty of their scalelord.

The approaching dragon barked out commands in the guttural draconic. Thanks to the close proximity in which the humans, ainok, and aven lived with their dragon overseers, Javed was able to understand most of what was said. A pack of Kolaghan raiders had managed to sneak into Dromoka territory, and were waiting in ambush over the next dune. Katar flew over the patrol, watching as the leaders relayed that information into orders. 

The patrol marshaled into formation. The primary weapon of the scaleguard, and especially against the Kolaghan and their horses, were long spears. The scaleguard could protect themselves from arrows and other projectiles with their shields. But the best protection against a crazed berserker charging headlong at you was a sharp pointy stick.

Thus forewarned, and prepared, they waited for the enemy to approach. Now that the element of surprise had been spoiled, the Kolaghan could either retreat, or attack anyway. Javed knew which option he thought was more likely. The Kolaghan could have been a bogeyman created by elders to frighten the young into obedience. They seemed to be antithetical to everything the Dromoka stood for.

Yet Javed knew they existed, for he had heard the tales firsthand from Foremost who had faced them in combat. Stories of cannibalism. Stories of killing their own. Stories of drinking blood. Stories of killing children and the infirm and old, and everyone who had the misfortune to lie in their destructive path. As far as anyone had been able to ascertain, the Kolaghan did all they did, just for the hell of it. They didn't build, they didn't rule. They destroyed, and then moved on. Almost like a force of nature. 

Yet this was a force of nature that you could fight, and every scaleguard worth their salt stood ready to beat back the ravening hordes from their homes. And in doing so, you could be promoted to Foremost, the elite of Dromoka's human servants. Though individual glory was not as important as serving the clan.

Javed found himself a few rows back from the edge of their formation. He could see Ester to his left, also not on the front lines, and felt relieved. Not that he doubted her combat abilities. Every scaleguard needed to be able to fight, or at least die, for the clan. But wrapped up in that was a solicitousness for their comrades.

Those warriors on the outside of the formation linked their shields and held their spears outward, in a complete circle. This prevented the Kolaghan from flanking them with their superior mobility. Those not on the edge held their shields upward, to protect both themselves and those close to them from arrows. They added their spears to the defense, creating a resilient break point to resist any charge. They blocked off a space in the middle of the circle to allow for the supply cart and any wounded. For they knew that there would be wounded. They could only hope that would be all.

These tactics had been honed over a millennia of combat. The Dromoka knew how to defend, especially against their hated enemies, the Kolaghan. No mercy could be expected, so they just had to become stronger. And of course, they had their dragon circling overhead, to provide support. Javed smirked. He almost felt sorry for the bastards. Almost.

Now he could hear it, the war cries and screams of the approaching raiders. They knew that their ambush had been foiled, and now they were going to try the overwhelming frontal assault. Despite the Dromokan defenses, that fearsome charge was often effective. This first strike would go the furthest in determining the victor of this battle. The Kolaghan could throw a mean first punch. The Dromoka had to be able to take it.

Of course, with Katar in the mix, she would probably strafe the Kolaghan charge before it could even get to them, weakening their strength. In battles between clans, your best bet was a dragon. They were so far above the normal combatants, that having one on your side often trumped all other concerns. That didn't mean you could slack off, so Javed kept his mind focused, vowing to give everything he had, to the last drop of blood if necessary. 

Then the Kolaghan breached the hill. Javed felt a chill go through him. This was real. He could see their bloodstained faces, their black horses. He could see their mad expressions, and the cruel joy that seized them. Now that they saw their prey, the Kolaghan redoubled their frenzy, if that were possible. They urged their mounts down the hill, only gaining speed. Such misuse would destroy a horse over the long haul, but this was about a quick strike, and maybe one of two more, if needed, to clean up the scraps. 

Javed felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins. His grip grew shaky, til he had to take a breath to calm himself down. No need to worry, no need to wonder. There was no tomorrow, there was no yesterday. There was only now. This moment. Focus, breathe. Don't think. Watch them come. Ease your grip. When the time is right, then clench and thrust. He heard others in the formation shouting last minute directives and encouragement.

Then something streaked across the sky, and BOOM! Something crashed into Katar and sent her hurtling through the air. A deafening screech made the hair on Javed's body stand up. Lightning crackled through the air as he beheld a Kolaghan Dragon, or warkite, in all its fearsome glory.

A dismayed cry went up from the formation. Javed whipped his head back to the charging Kolaghan skirmishers, who were roaring with blood lust at their dragon's arrival, then back to the hovering Kolaghan, who had turned its head to regard them for a moment. Then it screamed, charging up its deadly lightning breath.

This was not good. Javed's patrol had had a tenuous advantage before, but now things looked decidedly grim. He couldn't tell where their scalelord had gone. And without a dragon of their own, they were caught between a rock and a hard place!

“Roaarr!!!” Javed felt his heart lift at the familiar sound. A blast of purifying light caused the warkite to cut off its attack and dodge. It turned back to see Katar making a line towards it. As Katar charged, she let loose with her breath of light, hoping to destroy her foe, but if not, at least to cover her advance. The warkite, however, moved impossibly fast, even compared to their scalelord. It was able to dodge the attacks easily, then close to range.

Now it was the warkite's turn to attack. Its preliminary strike had been a lightning assisted battering ram, that had transferred most of the force into Katar, leaving it relatively unharmed. But a mere look showed that there was no way the slender dragon could compete in physical strength with Katar's bulky and muscled build. So it drew close, but just out of reach, where it could leverage its superior mobility to avoid Katar's attacks, yet lash at her with its own lightning breath. Each strike caused Katar to pause, but she doggedly kept up the chase.

Javed snapped out of his reverie. He had been transfixed at the dragon battle in the sky. He hadn't seen anything like it before. But he knew the raiders' charge must be close. He looked, and sure enough they were almost upon them. For an instant he wanted to scream, to run away. Instead he took a calming breath, and shouted, “Eyes forward!” His comrades noticed their peril, and joined the refrain. There was nothing they could do for their scalelord if they got swept away here. The concern they felt for their dragon was channeled into their focus, and as one, they let out a rallying cry.

It was met from the Kolaghan with a cry of their own, and then the two sides crashed. Just as the first waves came into reach, Javed and his fellow scaleguard clenched their grip on their spears, waited one beat, and then thrust with all their might. The impact was tremendous. Spears shattered up and down the line. Horses pushed themselves onto the spears until the points came out the other side. The force would have easily knocked the scaleguards at the front off their feet, if they weren't braced by their comrades behind them. As it was, the circle bent and shifted, but held.

Seeing as the initial charge hadn't worked, those Kolaghan who came after were forced to turn their charge and begin circling the formation. They tried to bat down the spear tips with their swords so that they could ride in and trample, but the rows of spears shored up any weak spots. A few of the Kolaghan tried to shoot arrows into the formation, but the scaleguards' interlocked shields formed an impenetrable wall.

Now that the greatest danger had subsided, though by no means passed, a few of those scaleguards on the inner most of the formation drew their bows and fired back. The few Kolaghan archers fired direct line shot into the formation, which were easily blocked. The Dromoka archers, on the other hand, had to arch their shots to avoid their comrades. Even with their aim obscured, they were able to thin out the Kolaghan ranks a bit. However, some intrepid bowman set their sights higher.

Above them, the battle between dragons had continued. Each lightning blast sapped more strength from Katar. She replied with her own blasts, but the surprise attack from the warkite had left her behind for most of the fight. The archers noticed, and began firing at the warkite, seeking to aid their dragon. The warkite regarded the volley, and easily dodged. But the archers didn't give up. They kept firing, forcing the warkite to divert its attention. 

Katar used this time to make up the distance and advance to close range. Just as the warkite was preparing to turn its deadly lightning upon the archers, Katar crashed into it bodily. Though it was nowhere as fast as the warkite's own charge, it had almost as much effect. The Kolaghan dragon lost quite a bit of altitude, almost brushing its wing tips against the desert sand. However, it regained its equilibrium just as Katar charged down on top of it. The warkite just manged to dodge the blow, which would have flattened it, but Katar followed up with a nasty bite.

Utilizing the distraction, the Kolaghan warriors had left off their fruitless circling, and had gathered halfway up the hill for another attempt at an alpha strike. The warkite noticed this, and let off a point blank lightning blast at Katar which bought it enough time to escape. It flew to the head of its forces, and as it turned, they all charged. This was different from the first charge. This was what was meant by the Kolaghan charge. The warkite breathed its lightning breath over its own troops, and they welcomed it! Some of the Kolaghan had metal rods sticking up at their backs which channeled the lightning into their own charge.

Javed kept his focus, but a voice in the back of his head told him he was witnessing his own demise. He made peace with that thought, and pushed it aside. He didn't know if there was anything that could withstand such a charge as this. Even the very earth seemed as if it would rend.

Then Katar flew over them, towards the foe. “Yes!” Javed cried out. His spirits were lifted, though things still were grim. Katar would protect them. If she could just keep that dragon off of them, then they might be able to deal with that horde.

However, Katar had something else in mind. As she charged the Kolaghan forces, she unleashed her scorching breath upon the riders, instantly incinerating many, and blasting many more to the ground, leaving them to die from agonizing burns. The charge was decimated, and there did not remain enough riders to pose a threat to the scaleguard formation. However, this left Katar open.

In that split second of diverted attention, the warkite attacked. It didn't give an ounce of consideration to its followers, but instinctively pressed its momentary advantage. Gripping Katar with its claws, it unleashed a full force point blank lightning blast into her face. Katar convulsed and went limp, falling out of the warkite's grasp and crashing to the sand.

“NO!” Javed screamed. The formation loosened and then broke. The scaleguards charged to their scalelord's aid. The war kite took to the air and loosed a lightning blast upon them. “Aaagghh!” Javed screamed as searing electricity flowed through his body. He dropped his spear and fell to his knees.

He looked around and saw his fellow scaleguards in varying states. Some lay on the ground, not moving. Others were staggering around, dazed. And still others were already regrouping. Ester rushed up to him. “Javed, you're still alive! Come on!” She dragged him bodily to his feet, and gripped him with her free hand until his feet were steady enough to stand. 

She still held her spear, although her shield was missing. His shield was still gripped tightly in his hand, the aftershocks of electricity causing his grip to clench, knuckle white, on the handle. His spear had fallen, and though he took a groggy glance around, he could not imagine finding it in this chaos. Time for plan B, he thought, as he pulled out his scimitar.

Ester pointed at some soldiers that were struggling to rebuild some type of order, and they began making their way towards them. However, the remnants of the Kolaghan band were hellbent on destruction, especially now that the Dromoka's secure formation had been broken. The scaleguards that Ester and Javed had been approaching were cut down without ceremony. Then the riders continued towards them.

Ester bent her knees, holding her spear at an angle. Without the benefit of her comrades to brace her, she needed to wait until the last possible moment, and then brace her spear against the ground. Javed stood nearby, feeling impotent with rage and stricken with grief. Why? Why did this have to happen? He wished he could charge his opponents like a dragon, and tear them from their saddles, and send them fleeing before his wrath. But he could not do those things, so he seethed and waited, resolving to protect Ester's flank.

The riders were almost upon them. Ester set her spear into the ground and braced for impact. At that moment, the warkite appeared. It had been chasing and harrying the remnants of their patrol, and now it was here for them. Javed yelled, raising his shield and running to put it between Ester and the blast. It was too far, and everything seemed to be moving too slowly for him to ever get there in time.

He didn't. The blast cut through them like a knife. Even the Kolaghan riders were caught in the blast, crashing to the ground in their charge. Javed's shield protected him from the brunt of the blast, though he was still thrown to the ground, throbbing with pain. However, Ester was unshielded from the blast.

Though he couldn't see her face, he could hear her scream. She flopped to the floor like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Javed struggled to his feet, staggering to her side. He could still see electricity arcing through her metal armor, so he removed her breastplate. Then he checked her breathing and heart beat. She wasn't breathing, and though her pulse was still there, it was irregular.

“Ih-kohm-neh,” he cursed. He tried to breath air into her lungs, but nothing happened, and he felt foolish. If only there were a sun mage around! Javed pulled at his hair in stress. Ester was going to die right in front of him! His only consolation was that they all were probably going to die, with that dragon still around.

“Please! Please...” he cried to no one, _anyone_. Gradually he noticed a light shining above Ester's chest. It coalesced and grew in intensity. “Sun magic!” he gasped, though where it was coming from, he could not guess. Suddenly Ester gasped, and her eyes flickered open for a moment, before she lay back, unconscious, on the sand. Javed could barely believe his eyes. She was breathing! He checked her pulse, and it had stabilized as well. 

Javed felt weak. In the midst of his powerlessness, something had aided him. He whipped his head about, trying to sight the Kolaghan dragon that was still a threat. He saw it, closer than he had thought. It was engaged in battle with Katar. Katar! Such was to be expected of the enduring dragons of the Dromoka brood. He grabbed Ester's spear, whispered a prayer that she would be watched over, and started making his way to the two battling dragons.

As Javed half walked, half crawled towards the battling behemoths, his mind was filled with thoughts. Where were reinforcements? He had no idea how long they had been fighting. Maybe it hadn't been long enough for word to get back, or for others to arrive. After all, no one had expected combat like this, inside the borders.

What was he going to do? He had no idea. As long as dragons had the power of flight, they had the advantage. Javed knew that there were some among the humans in Dromoka's service who were specifically trained to combat dragons, but they were the most trusted of the Foremost.

In the end, did it matter? If the Kolaghan dragon was left to attack, all of the scattered and wounded of his patrol stood no chance. Even Katar was struggling. If it were to help his brothers and sisters, and his scalelord, he would gladly sacrifice himself. And right now that looked like the plan.

Gradually he noticed the wind picking up. Sand started flying through the air. A sandstorm? But there had been no signs. It quickly grew in intensity. Javed shielded his eyes, and wrapped his scarf around his face, leaving the slightest space for him to see. This speed and intensity, it seemed the work of a team of sand mages! But there had been no sand mages assigned to his patrol, or nearby enough to have reached them.

Don't question it, he thought. You've got bigger problems. It was within the realm of possibility that this sand storm had spontaneously generated. Not probable, but possible. However, with visibility reduced, it meant that the Kolaghan warkite would have trouble flying away, or maneuvering. He almost laughed at the idea that he didn't want this fearsome dragon to fly away. But knowing that it wouldn't stop until they were all dead, grounding it gave them an advantage.

It also made it difficult for him to find them. He tried to keep going on the line he had been on when the storm started, but the buffeting winds and approximately 5 feet of visibility made it impossible to know if he was still on the right track. He hesitated to take his next step, and doubt began flooding his mind.

Then he felt something tugging him in one direction. It was soft and light, almost enough to be missed in the raging storm. Yet he could feel it. He focused on it, trying to ignore everything else. The faint feeling drew him onwards, occasionally correcting him when he went off course. His heart went out to the source of this guidance, and what he felt must also be the source of the storm, and the healing of his friend.

Eventually, he came to the place where the two dragons had been fighting. The sudden sand storm had paused their combat. He could barely hear them roaring and thrashing about trying to find each other. Then it was if the sand let up slightly, just in the very vicinity, and he saw them. Katar caught sight of her opponent, and charged. With a mighty bite, she severed one of the warkite's wings from the bone. The warkite screamed, and then let off a rage and pain filled blast. After all the damage Katar had taken, she went down, and was slow to get up. The Kolaghan let out a roar of triumph, and advanced on its prey.

“NOOOOO!” Javed cried, and the sands returned with renewed intensity. Now he couldn't see at all. He reached out to the source, whatever had been guiding him to this point. “Please,” he whispered, “guide me.” He felt the tugging again, and trusted in it. He advanced confidently. He began to feel a glow and energy flow into his body. The weariness and fear from the battle was overlaid with strength, and vigor. He felt stronger, better, than he ever had before. He felt like a bow, stretched taut, ready to loose the fateful shot.

He still couldn't see, but when he felt, rather than heard, the command, NOW, he leapt! Springing high, and arcing down towards his unseen target. He put every ounce of his new found strength into the blow. Once, for all time. Whatever the outcome, he would not hold back.

He felt something as he struck, large flesh. The spear went through with almost no resistance. He heard a rage filled scream, tinged with agony and pain. The spear was wrenched from his hands, and he fell to the ground. As he struggled to get to his feet, the sandstorm cleared. He looked up and saw the Kolaghan warkite, poised upon Katar, having been ready to deliver the final blow. His spear had struck clean through its neck, pinning and killing it. However, as he looked on in horror, he saw that the spear had continued down, into the chest of Katar!

Javed couldn't believe his eyes. His heart constricted and he gasped for air. Katar moaned and looked at Javed with pain and anger filled eyes. She growled out one final draconic word, Why? Then she slumped to the ground and Javed watched the life leave her body.

Javed sat there a moment. His brain couldn't process what had just happened. He had been trying to save his scalelord. Yet he had killed her! Various excuses and reasons flew through his mind, but he grasped at none of them. A stream of gibberish whimpered from his lips. Then he screamed to the sky.

The scream was loud and long, and when he finally ran out of breath to scream, he collapsed to the sand and knew nothing more.


	2. Chapter 2

Heat.  Warming, comforting, searing, killing heat.  Through closed eyes, he could feel the sun beating down.  It pierced his eyelids to invade his fitful sleep.  He was too weakened to cover his face or even turn away.  Indeed, he was too weak to even look around or call for help.  Javed felt as if he were already dead.  Which was just an inevitability.  The desert did not show mercy.

He tried to think back, but he could only remember bits and pieces.  The initial charge, the warkite, Ester, a sandstorm...  Yet something was missing.  It lingered at the edges of his mind, conspicuous in its absence.  When he probed further...pain.  And he wasn't in a hurry to add to the coming pain his numb body foretold.

The sun filtering through his eyelids almost served as a second sight.  Slow moving patches of shadow signified clouds.  Nothing enough to provide shelter from the realities of the desert, though.  If he had the strength, he might burrow into the sand for shelter, and wait until nightfall.  He might harvest moisture and even his own sweat to stay hydrated.  And he would definitely try to signal one of dragons that would come looking for them.

He _would_ do these things...but in his current state he couldn't.  And unless something changed soon, he would fade away and die.  The desert could kill a strong man in hours.  And he was not that right now.

Javed faced the end, and waited.

***

Javed started awake.  The fact that he even could was a surprise.  He squinted cautiously at the feel of...shade?  He looked up from where he lay on the ground to discover that he was in a grove of trees, protected from the harsh sun.  An oasis!  Could it be a mirage?  But a mirage couldn't maintain itself at this distance.  It couldn't actually shade you from the sun.  Even the ground was not sand, but soil.

It felt wonderful.  Yet his lips were still parched and his body aflame with thirst.  He let his head fall to the side, to take in his surroundings.  As he did, he saw it.  A small pool of water.  Javed's eyes dilated at the sight.  His universe shrank to the size of that pool.  He knew, even in the shade, that he must have water, soon, or die.

He felt a surge of adrenaline fighting against his weariness.  His tired body wanted nothing more than to lay where he was.  Yet he knew that if he did, he would loose strength until it was impossible for him to move.  He had to act, now!

He rolled onto his side, facing the pool.  Pause.  Then once more, onto his stomach.  Deep breath.  He tensed and gathered his body together.  Wedging his legs and feet against the ground, he pushed his upper body forward.  He focused on keeping his body tight and letting it slide over the soil.  When he had fully stretched out, he dug his hands into the dirt.  Then he gathered his body again, this time keeping his hands and arms firm against the ground, and letting his legs slide behind him.

It was unintuitive and draining, but Javed knew it allowed him to conserve the most energy in his weakened state.  The alternative was flailing about, or trying to get to his feet.  Javed didn't want to waste energy trying to stand when he didn't even know if he could in his current state.

He crawled for an eternity.  His aching muscles protested every movement.  To his fevered eyes, the water seemed no closer after each lunge.  Unwanted thoughts crept into his mind, that he'd be dead before he got to the water's edge, that the water could be bad and finish him off, that this was all a dream and he was still cooking out in the sun.  He let those thoughts pass through and out, focusing on repeating his awkward crawl.  

Once more, once more, once more.   _I might be doing this forever_ , he thought.  That idea didn't bother him as much as it should.  He had set his mind on this course of action, knowing it was his best chance.  Now he just had to keep on.  Once more...once more...once more...

When his hand splashed into the pool, it took Javed a moment of dumb contemplation to realize he had done it.  By this point, he was too tired to even celebrate.  He cupped his trembling hand and brought it to his mouth.  The water seeped through his fingers and trickled down his arm, but he didn't care.  He just needed moisture.  

Javed rubbed his wet fingers over his parched lips.  It felt like heaven.  The cool water was instantly absorbed into his skin.  He dipped his hand again, this time washing the rest of his face.  Javed had purposefully avoided drinking any water yet.  He needed to prepare his dehydrated body, and avoid succumbing to water madness.  Too much water could kill you just as surely as too little.

Once he had cooled his face, and felt a bit more human, he decided to take his first drink.  Javed reached out again, dipping his hand.  This time when he brought the water back, it felt like a solemn ritual.  His eyes focused on the water.  Bringing it to his lips, and restraining himself, he took a sip.

Even with all his mental preparation, he almost lost control.  That first taste of cool water pierced him to the very soul.  He had to remove his hand, so that he wouldn't mindlessly gulp the water down.  His eyes subconsciously darted to the pool, and his body trembled as if he would leap into the waters and roll about like a beast.  

No.

Once the feeling passed, he brought his hand back to his lips.  He sipped the water down, and then sucked on his fingers.  Javed took a moment to dwell on the pleasure he had just experienced, then reached out his hand again.  Once again, and once again.  Each time just as deliberate as the first.  He focused on the sensation in his belly, and when he felt the slightest bit full, he pulled back his hand and forced himself to stop.  He had witnessed the tragic cases of survivors who drank themselves to death after surviving the harsh desert.

Now that he was done, he crawled a few feet away from the water's edge, and fell back into slumber.

***

The second time he awoke was much more pleasant.  He knew where he was, and he wasn't on the brink of death.  He decided to try getting to his feet, using one of the trees for leverage.  Though he wobbled a bit, he managed to keep his feet.

Javed's entire body was aching and weary, but at least he felt human.  He went back to the water's edge, and squatted down to get a drink.  Despite the water he had drank before, it still felt like he was filling up a bottomless pit.  His body had put every ounce of water to work.  He still made sure not to drink too much.  Life in the desert did not last long if you lacked discipline.  

Straightening up, Javed surveyed his surroundings.  He was in a grove of trees, surrounding a natural spring.  The fresh water bubbled up from some fortuitous source.  Many questions pressed upon his mind.  How had he arrived here?  He had been in no condition to travel, and even if he had, he wouldn't have known how to get here.  Did someone carry him?  If so, who, and where were they now?

Javed longed to strip off his armor.  It weighed him down, and he longed to feel the cool oasis breeze on his skin.  There was even dirt in his armor, from all the crawling around he had been doing.  But the thought of some stranger lurking about gave him pause.  If there was someone, they had helped him.  That did not automatically make them trustworthy.

Yet as he scanned the small grove, Javed could sense no one.  He peered out into the desert, which even now seemed like a certain doom that he had only narrowly escaped.  He could see no signs of life for as far as he could see.  Javed sighed pensively.  Then he gladly shucked off his breastplate.

He arranged his armor carefully at the base of a tree.  A Dromoka warrior never took their armor for granted.  The success of their clan was based in endurance.  To endure in battle required the necessary protection.  Those warriors who attained the rank of Foremost were even given the honor of receiving some discarded scales from their revered scalelords, to use as armor.  Javed was just a lowly scaleguard, but he had seen such armor before, worn by Foremost on leave from the borders.  The common scaleguard armor was fashioned in its likeness, with metal worked to resemble dragon scale.

With that weight off his shoulders, Javed almost felt comfortable.  With protection from the sun, and the water here, he knew he could survive.  These trees didn't look like they bore fruit, but that was of far lesser importance.  He could live here for days, maybe weeks.  But he needed to get home.  He had to report on the attack, as well as report back for duty.

As Javed's thoughts went back to the battle, a searing flash burned his mind.  He quickly retreated from the pain, and instead preoccupied himself with the parts that he could remember.  The shouts, the clangs of metal against metal.  He could remember, as though in a dream, the fear and confusion.  He remembered the awful Kolaghan dragon, and Katar, his honored scalelord, battling it.  Here the heat grew in his mind again, but he sidled away from it.

He remembered Ester being hit by the lightning.  She was dying.  Then not dying.  She had been saved.  How?  By the golden light.  Sun magic, like the magic used by Dromoka mages.  But without a caster.  And the sandstorm, reminiscent of powerful sand magics, often used by the Dromoka to conceal their movements or to blind their enemies.  Sand storms were an ever present danger of the wastes, but Javed couldn't believe that one of that size and intensity could have struck with no warning.  The Dromoka lived in the desert, and in order to survive, they studied it inside and out.

So more magic, and once more without a caster.  Javed wanted to believe that he was a fool, that he had been imagining things.  Perhaps Katar had summoned sun and sand mages when she had arrived to warn them.  But something about that felt off.  If Katar had arrived with reinforcements, the majority would have been scaleguards.  Yet Javed had seen none.

“Ugh, I'm getting nowhere with this,” he sighed.   _Never let what you don't know, overrule what you do know_ , he reminded himself.  Once the storm had arisen, he had left Ester, breathing...A flash of pain.  “Ugh,” but he refused to give up.  He circled this painful memory.   _I will wear you down_ , he thought.  Gingerly poking and prodding at the memory, he avoided the worst of it, and was able to continue.

He had been going to help his scalelord.  Even just as a distraction.  Instead...another flash.  He grit his teeth.   _I saw the light, and strength flowed into me_.  Classic sun magic, empowering and healing his wounds.  And he...had been led.  He remembered now!  That feeling of guidance, like nothing he had known before.  It had led him through the whirling sands...onward...onward...

The pain was consistent now, a dull roar, but he pushed past it.  He had to know!  He couldn't abide this blocked memory!  A small part of him wondered if he should really want to know.   _Maybe this is a warning_ -but he pushed past that thought as well.  Whatever it was, better to know and deal with the fallout.

He had been led...and came upon the two dragons, locked in combat.  The dull pain receded completely, leaving a hollow vacuum in its place.  His ears were ringing.  He remembered seeing Katar fall.  Then the sand returned.  He leapt, he was guided, he would not fail!

And just as it had then, Javed's heart skipped a beat when he remembered what he had done.  His breath caught in his lungs, and came in shallows gasps.  He staggered and threw his arms around a nearby tree to keep from falling.  The sight of Katar, his scalelord, the one who he had...who everyone in his aerie had...devoted their lives to...dead.  And at his hand.

“No.  Nooooo.  NoooOOO-AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!” Javed screamed.  It couldn't be, this had to be a dream.  The enormity stared him in the face.  Violence against a clan member was the greatest crime in their laws.  Yet that paled in comparison to what he had done.  Excuses and reasons once again flowed through his mind, trying to justify, trying to allow him to come to grips with what he had done.  But he refused to consider them.

Was this his divine punishment?  To be outcast?  No.  It couldn't be.  If he was a true son of the clan Dromoka- and nothing that had happened would change that- then his duty was clear.  Find a way to return to civilization, and turn himself in.  The scalelords, and most likely Dragonlord Dromoka, would hear his case, and then administer judgment.  Javed could only hope that his penitence would show, by accepting his rightful death.

Now that he had made peace with his fate, he was able to hear his mind reasoning, that perhaps there would be leniency, taking into account the circumstances.  It didn't bring him joy, to consider getting off on technicalities, but he needed something to hold onto right now.  Something to give him hope.  He hadn't wanted to kill his scalelord!  They had to see that!  But even if they didn't, he would accept their verdict.  In this way, he would be justified, and at one with his clan, even if it were only in death.

***

_Well, no use wasting time_ , Javed thought.  He pushed off the tree where he had leaned, and began to gather sticks to start a signal fire.  Then Javed heard a sound that gave him pause.  He could have almost thought it to be the wind, if it weren't for the feeling of omen that pierced him to the bones.  He listened intently for it to sound again.

... _Javed_...

Chills ran down his spine.  His name?  Who out here could be calling for him?  Was it a search party, already on the lookout for him, their calls carrying from a distance?  Javed strained his ears, holding himself as still as possible.  He tried to ignore the sounds of his breath, and the blood pounding in his ears.  He tried to filter out every sound except for the strange sound, the one he sought...

“Javed!” the figure who spoke stepped out of nowhere right in front of him.

“Ahhh!” Javed cried as he jolted backwards, falling flat on his back.

The figure laughed in spite of itself.  Javed could see now that it was a young woman, clad in armor, like a Dromoka warrior.   _Friend_ , he thought.  Yet there was something off about her.  For starters, he could clearly make out the trees on the other side of her!

“Who-” _what_ “are you?” he stammered.  He noticed that she was standing in the air, a few feet off the ground.  Well, that narrowed things down a bit.  He expected to feel afraid, but for some reason, his fight or flight responses had not kicked in yet.

The woman -spirit- smiled reassuringly.  “Do not be afraid.  I am a friend of the Dromoka Clan.”  Javed let out the breath he had been holding.  Well, that was a comforting start.  And yet the situation was so far outside of his experience that he could not make heads or tails of it.  She continued, “My name is Anafenza, and in life I was one of your peers.”

“Anafenza?  In life?  Wha-?  How?  Uhh...?”  Javed's mind was chugging slowly under the weight of so much new information.  The Dromoka Clan did have its stories of ghosts and evil spirits.  Javed had often wondered about such things.  But he had never experienced anything like this.  Everything he had been told said that spirits were ominous and capricious, dangerous and unreliable.  As such, those who chose to deal with and call on such were put to death.

Yet he could feel nothing untoward about this spirit.  Her face held a comforting expression.  Javed supposed that at any moment it could be replaced by a ravening maw, but in the meantime, he could only go by his senses and gut, and both were calm.  Besides, the best way to avoid trouble was to be polite.  If that didn't work, go for the sword.  If _that_ didn't work, and he supposed it might not work on a spirit, then run.

The spirit laughed again, watching his brain process.  “I know this must be new for you.  It's ok, take your time.”  She hadn't moved from her initial position, and a small part of his mind noticed and appreciated it.  He had enough on his mind with the existence of a spirit.  He didn't need to deal with a MOVING existing spirit.

“Ok...uh, **Forgive me, oh spirit** ,” Javed began.  

The spirit laughed again.  “Oh my, ha ha, how formal!”  She smiled, and Javed was entranced.  “I guess this is why it's easier to work behind the scenes.”  She held her hand, palm up, in a placating gesture.  “You can just call me Anafenza.  It's why I told you my name to begin with.”

“Ah!”  Javed bowed low from the waist.  He had inadvertently put the his visitor out.  “I'm sorry, Anafenza, I will do better!”  He clipped the words out like a roll call.  His cheeks flashed in shame, but he was determined to come off well to this spirit.  He had done enough wrong today.  He didn't want to anger some Dromokan spirit.  Even though a part of his mind was still wondering where this Dromokan spirit had come from, as the clan didn't revere or tolerate spirits of any kind.

The spirit called Anafenza quirked an eyebrow at his response.  “I guess...that's a start.  Javed,” she continued, her voice never wavering from a calm and comforting tone, “I am not here to hurt you.  I am not here to judge you.  I am here to help you.”  She smiled again.  “Indeed, I already have.  You just don't know it was me.”

Javed's mouth gaped, and his eyes opened wide.  Her words, it had to mean...the magics that had helped him in the battle...had been...her?

Anafenza resisted to urge to giggle at the truth dawning on Javed's face.  “That's right Javed.  You needed me, and I came to your aid.  Do not fear me.  I am on your side.”

Javed had so many questions.  He felt a supreme aura of love and acceptance, but something niggled at him.  “Wait, you guided me, yet...I killed my scalelord!”  His look of awe was replaced by one of horror.  He dropped his gaze in shame, missing the disappearance of Anafenza's smile, replaced by slight annoyance.

Now, with someone to talk to, Javed felt he could unburden his feelings of guilt.  Perhaps this spirit of his clan could tell him how to pay penance.

“Javed...so what?”

He gaped.  The spirit Anafenza didn't seem to be grasping the enormity of the situation.  “Anafenza, I killed my scalelord!  I!  A human!  Killed my scalelord!  One of our rulers!”

Anafenza scoffed.  “Javed, it was the only way to save everyone.  If you hadn't acted then, that warkite would've killed you, and then killed every one of your fellow soldiers.  Including that one you were trying to save.  If the situations were reversed, your scalelord wouldn't have hesitated to roast you for the good of the tribe.”

“As it should be!” Javed yelled.  He didn't care anymore if he offended this spirit.  She was treading dangerously close to treason, if she hadn't already walked over that line.  Javed could understand the technical aspects of her argument, but it presupposed that human lives were equal to dragon lives, which they very obviously weren't!

Anafenza sighed.  “Javed, look, I know you feel bad about what happened.  I shouldn't have been so cavalier about it.”  Javed harrumphed.  “I know you didn't want to kill your scalelord.  You,” she hesitated, “are a loyal soldier of your clan.”

Javed sighed.  His face went from defensiveness to forlorn.  “I guess.  I'm sorry too, for being cross.  I just...when I found out what had happened, I wished it had been me who died instead of my scalelord.”

“Wow, Javed,” Anafenza replied.  “I mean, I get it, but Javed...”  Javed looked up at her questioningly.  “Javed, you have worth and value as an individual.”

“I know I have value, to the clan,” Javed began.  But Anafenza cut him off.

“Not to the clan.  Or rather, not just to the clan.”  Javed gave her another quizzical look.  Anafenza sighed.  “Maybe it would be better if I started at the beginning.  Over a thousand years ago, the Dromoka clan did not exist.  These sands were inhabited by another clan.  The Abzan.  This clan lived here in peace.  But then the Dromoka dragons attacked.  They overthrew the Abzan, and ruthlessly eliminated their history and identity.  The survivors were assimilated into what would come to be known as the Dromoka Clan.  Humans serving under dragons.”

Javed didn't look impressed.  “Isn't that what happens though?  One clan conquers another?  And you say this happened over a thousand years ago.  All I've ever known is the Dromoka, and you expect me to feel sympathy for some ancient, unknown clan of humans, who for all I know, may have been complete monsters?”

Anafenza set her expression in response.  “I didn't expect you to care right off the bat,” although her annoyance betrayed that sentiment.  “I just wanted to lay out how things are.”

“And you, are you from back then too?” Javed demanded.

Anafenza narrowed her eyes.  “Does this armor look familiar?” she demanded.  It was indeed the modern style of Dromoka armor.  It looked similar to his own, except where his was made of metal shaped to look like dragon scales, hers looked like the real deal!

“You were...a Foremost?” he whispered.  She paused, then nodded.

“I died two years ago.”

Javed cringed.  “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be.  I gave my life for what I believed in.  Just like any of my brothers and sisters would.”  She looked pensive for a moment, and then moved on.  “My only regret, is that there are things I can't do in this state.  That's why I've come to you.”

“Me?” Javed questioned.  “But why me?  I've done nothing special.  In the battle, you helped me so much!”

“Javed,” Anafenza looked him in the eyes, “You have been chosen for a reason.  You are a loyal servant, and you are willing to sacrifice for the greater good.  There's more too.  Our mission will fail without those qualities.”

“Our mission?  What is-”

“In time, Javed,” she assured him.  “Our time here is limited.  Even now, a search party is headed in this direction.”

“But how-” he cut himself off.  She smiled at him.  Of course.  “You've given me a lot of new information, Anafenza.”

“I know.  And I'm sorry to dump it all on you like this,” she admitted.  “The good news is that you have time to think about this.  You don't have to decide right now.  But do think about it.  I will find you when the time is right.”

Javed smirked.  “So you're not afraid I'm going to sell you out to my Dragonlord?”

Anafenza grinned back.  “You have nothing to sell out.  All I've done is tell you about the Abzan.  If you decide to blab, they'll probably just kill you.”  Javed hesitated.  He knew she was right.  He was on thin enough ice as it was.  It wouldn't do to appear knowledgeable about conspiracies.

“Look, Javed,” she continued.  “I know you have no reason to trust me.  I know you've been taught one thing for your whole life.  But there are things you don't know.  And they will change your view on the life you are living.  You deserve to know these things.  The world deserves to know.”

“Wow,” Javed whistled.  “You make it seem like this is some life changing stuff.”  Anafenza nodded.  “And you're right, I don't know you, not really.”  He looked at her levelly.  “And yet, I do trust you.  I feel something...familiar around you.  I definitely don't feel anything bad.  And if I'm going to be able to judge anything, I need to follow my gut.”

Anafenza smiled.  “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“But, Anafenza,” and now his expression turned serious, “I will _never_ betray my clan.  Regardless of how I feel, if you ask me to do that, we're through.”

Anafenza gazed back at him.  “Fair enough.  I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do.  I know you won't betray your clan.  You're loyal.  You're selfless.  And I also know, once you have the full story, you will do the right thing.”

Javed returned her gaze.  The atmosphere was tense, yet not ominous.  Like a firm handshake.  Then she smiled, and gave him a salute.  He watched stunned as she faded away, halfway returning her salute.  

***

After she left, Javed gathered up his armor, reattaching it so that he would be ready to travel when the search party arrived.  He went to the spring and got another drink, and splashed some water onto his face.

Then he walked to the edge of the grove and looked out onto the desert.  The sun had sunk from its height, but he was surprised by how little time had appeared to pass.  Javed felt like a different person.  Like a lifetime had passed.  He tried to decide how he felt about all of this, but it was too much to handle.  He would need time, and ideally, he would need more information.  Anafenza had made it seem like more would be forthcoming.  Well, he wouldn't do anything until he felt satisfied.

He began gathering sticks for a signal fire.  Even if the search party was being led to him, it would be good to give them a concrete indicator of his location.

Javed wondered why he was able to take this so well.  He had just conversed with a traitorous spirit, that seemed to bear a grudge against the Dromoka.  Compared to everything else, this was the worst thing he had done all day.  Then he reconsidered that statement.  He hadn't agreed with her.  And he wasn't sure that he could have exercised any type of power over her, as she was a spirit.

He had killed his scalelord, under her direction.  And yet it was his hand.  And yet it was her direction.  And yet she was right.  By so doing, he had saved his patrol.  Was it really ok to look at it that way?  Would Dromoka see it that way?

He had spoken with a spirit.  The penalty for calling on spirits was death.  Necromancy in all its forms was abhorred by the Dromoka.  And yet he hadn't asked for this, unless he had, by calling for her aid during the battle.  Was he expected to have attacked a spirit to prove himself?  Was he expected to have run away?  All he did was listen.  Was that a crime?  How would a scalelord see it?

Javed didn't like these questions.  He didn't like having questions.  This morning everything had seemed so normal, so secure.  Now, if anyone knew of the thoughts he was entertaining, he would at the very least be banished.  And more likely executed.  Such ideas could create dissension in the clan.  And unity was necessary for survival.  He _knew_ this!  

He wanted to blame Anafenza.  To curse her for telling him these things.  But he couldn't bring himself to do so.   _I don't know if it is something to do with spirits, or just her, but I trust her.  She feels...good, and right.  If I had felt anything cold, or uncertain, I would have fled.  I never did.  I felt like I was talking to a friend._

Javed finally succeeded in getting the signal fire going.  He knelt by it, fanning the flames and doing his best to shield it from the wind.  He watched the smoke as it rose through the air, into the trees above.  The wispy vaporous quality felt evocative, reminiscent.  He felt subdued.  He could remember events from the day, divorced from the emotions that had accompanied them.  Maybe he had just used up all his energy.

Javed heard a call.  He bolted up right and searched the wastes.  Quickly he saw the group of his fellow scaleguards.  They were accompanied by a supply wagon.  He was saved!  He yelled and waved.  They returned the wave, and began making their way to him.  Javed smiled widely to see their approach.  It was good to see them.

He would return to civilization.  He would be judged for his crimes.  He would accept his fate.  He would not tell of what he had seen here.  Javed smiled.  Soon, all would be normal again.


	3. Chapter 3

The guard stepped forward, motioning Javed through the large double doors into the dragon lord's chamber. The only source of light in the vast room was a large opening in the center of the roof, where dragons could enter and exit through. The light did not reach to the edges of the room, concentrating in a beam in the center. There he was directed to stand. 

He could hear sounds reverberating off the walls, loud shuffling and the heavy fluttering of wings, yet he could not see their source. He had been told that this was an audience with Dragon Lord Dromoka. From the sound, he could tell that she was not the only dragon in attendance. 

Javed waited, having been instructed to wait for Dromoka’s instruction as to what he should do. He felt utterly vulnerable and alone. Out on the wastes, facing the berserkers, he had had his comrades for support. Even when he had faced of against the dragon, it had not been like this. Here he felt like a sand rat, being watched by the vultures. 

A throaty trill called for silence. Though all dragons spoke in their version of the draconic tongue, the dragons of the Dromoka clan lived and worked in such close proximity with their humans (and aven and ainok, the bird and dog peoples, respectively, of Tarkir) that they did not need translators to understand the common tongue. And the non-draconic peoples of the dromoka clan in turn could decipher the sounds and gestures of their dragon overlords.

The other dragons fell silent at Dromoka’s command. In the silence, Javed could hear the blood pumping through his ears, and feel his heart pounding in his chest. He didn't have to wait long. 

_Step forward, young one._

Javed obeyed. Looking out of the sun light and into the gloom, he could barely make out the massive form of the progenitor of the clan. She who had lived for over a thousand years. She who had led the clan, unchallenged, for those thousand years. She who, along with the other four Dragon lords, stood above every other life form on Tarkir, as Elder Dragons. 

Dragonlord Dromoka. Though obscured, she stood at attention, peering down at him. Her body was covered in the tough scales that defined her brood. No other dragons on Tarkir were as resilient. That was why they had settled the sun burnt wastes of Arashin. They set the example for the clan, of enduring.

Javed was seized by a combination of animal fear and holy reverence. Normally he would consider it the greatest honor of his life to stand in the presence of his dragon lord. But that presupposed that he wasn't called forth for accidentally killing his scalelord.

Dragonlord Dromoka took an active role in leading the clan. Javed had seen her in person before, though from a distance, when she had made her visits to his aerie city. Her inspections were mostly positive, except for the thief who was a repeat offender, and so was eaten as punishment. 

Javed had never had a reason to fear Dromoka, or any of the dragons. He had always believed in the clan, and what it stood for. The dragons were their guardians, their protectors. Each member working together for the good of the clan. Even now, he was tempted to meekly accept their ruling. But another part, that may have been awakened by Anafenza, wanted to fight to live. To stand up for himself. It was a new concept for him. But he reasoned that since he hadn’t intended to do anything wrong, if he just explained himself, they might see it that way too.

He hesitated, wondering if he was free to speak. After a moment, he was about to clear his throat to begin, when Dromoka spoke.

 _Javed._ He felt a thrill go through him at recognizing the sounds for his name in the dragon tongue.

_You have been through much, Javed. Do you know why we have called you here?_

Javed felt the nerves come rushing back. “Oh Dragonlord Dromoka. I throw myself on your mercy.” He fell to one knee and bowed his head. “I have sinned greatly by taking the life of my scalelord, Katar.” He heard a rustling from the dragons observing. “But I did not intend it! I wanted to help her. But I failed.” Javed felt his words in his heart, and his eyes were tearing up. “And by my failure, our clan feels the loss. My heart is filled with grief, both for the loss of my lord, but also for the loss that my clanmates are feeling.” Whatever happened, he wanted to be judged based on what was in his heart.

Because Javed was standing in the light, and the dragons surrounding him were set back in the lesser light, his eyes couldn’t adjust. He could make out their forms, but their expressions were inscrutable. Most non-draconics had trouble discerning dragon expressions anyway, but after much time spent in their presence, one could recognize and interpret their body language and gestures. But Javed couldn’t even do that now. He waited in tense silence. He had said all that he cared to say. He didn’t want to muddy the water with many words.

Then he heard a exhale of air from Dragonlord Dromoka. She adjusted her body position, and then began speaking. 

_I know, young one._ Javed gaped. Her voice wasn’t angry, or condemning. It was measured.

_I know that you didn’t intend to kill Katar. You have grown up under our eyes, and have always been a worthy clanmate. You believe in the values of our clan, and have striven to serve to the best of your ability. Your clanmates can’t understand what happened, but they all testified of your integrity. Whatever happened must have been under extreme exigency._

Javed swallowed, not daring to hope that this interview was going much different than he had feared.

Dromoka went on. _What is more, we cannot deny that your swift action won the battle, and saved many of your fellow scaleguards. It is what Katar would have wanted. What she would have given her life for._ Dromoka sighed. Javed heard murmuring from the other scalelords in the room. Only now he could think of how much this death might have affected the other dragons. They had lost one of their own. And not in glorious battle against the enemy, but in an accident. Javed felt a rush of gratitude for their treatment of him in spite of that.

 _In light of the facts of the situation, which have been corroborated by witnesses, we have decided that no punishment is necessary for your actions._ Javed gasped and let out the breath that had been holding in his lungs. Dromoka let out a chuckle at the display.

 _However, the results of that battle do require attention._ Javed recomposed himself. Until the meeting was over, he must show the proper respect, and pay attention. _Javed, due to your actions in the battle, the decision has been made, to advance you to foremost._

Javed nodded once before doing a double take and feeling the world drop away. _WHAAAAAA?!_

Dromoka was still talking. _We feel it is only right in light of your accomplishments to put you in position to make use of your talents for the good of the clan. Do not think of this as a reward. It is a solemn duty, and will require every ounce of your body, mind, and spirit._

Javed stammered, almost interrupting, “B-but...how is it done? I don’t deserve this honor.”

Dromoka preened her scales. _We have discussed this. We felt that you could redeem yourself better in service to the clan, in light of your record and the accidental nature of your crime, than merely executing you. Make no mistake, this calling may mean your death as well._

“But in service to the clan!” Javed blurted out. “A chance to redeem myself!” Javed bowed down on his knees and pressed his forehead to the ground. “Thank you, oh great Dromoka.” He wanted to say he was in her debt, but that would be redundant by this point.

 _I can see we have made the right decision_ , Dromoka said, looking around at the other scalelords. They nodded in return. Though Dromoka was the utmost authority in the clan, she valued the opinions of her draconic brethren, and even those of certain skilled humanoids.

Javed tried to settle his breathing. His understanding of the world had been turned on its axis. Going from fear of death to jubilation and honor. Then Dromoka reached behind her for something. Javed noticed that other attendants had come to flank him. It seemed his audience was over. But then Dromoka turned and stepped into the light.

Up close, she was breathtaking. Massive and scaled, she stood above even the other dragons of the clan. In Javed’s eyes, at this moment, he knew what a god looked like. She rose onto her hind legs, holding something in her claws. Finally, Javed caught on. He would have realized sooner, as it was the defining moment of a promotion ceremony, if he had not been at the center of it.

Javed gulped, and tried to keep breathing. Dromoka held in her hands a large scale that had once been part of herself! It was the highest of honors, to receive of their overlord’s natural armor, to weave into their own.

The Dragonlord moved with stately grace, reinforcing the solemnity of the ceremony. Javed held out tremulous hands to take the scale from her hands. He had to hug it against his chest to keep it steady. It was light for its size and strength, unmatched by any metal on Tarkir. If he proved true, he could earn other scales to create more pieces. Some of the oldest, and most decorated Foremost had full suits of Dragon Scale armor.

After he took the scale, Dromoka nodded in acknowledgement, and turned back to her seat. As she retreated, the attendants ushered Javed out of the room. Javed’s head was spinning so much that he wasn’t sure he could have managed it on his own.

After he emerged from the Dragonlord’s chamber, a nearby aven approached him. “Javed?” Javed nodded dully. 

“Javed, my name is Mirza. As you know, you have been appointed to Dromoka’s foremost. You will also be assigned to magic training.” 

“What?” Javed gasped, “I wasn’t told-”

“We are always on the lookout for potential Magic users,” Mirza said, winking. “We’d never noticed such potential in you before, but your feats during the battle are undeniable. If you show promise, we will continue your training, but regardless, you will fight as a Foremost.”

Javed could only bow, clutching the dragon scale he had received. Mirza laughed. “Let’s get you to the armory, and incorporate that scale into your new set of armor.” Javed listened with as much attention as he could muster.

“You will receive introductory training here, at your aerie. After a month, once we’ve seen your baseline, we will send for you at Arashin. You’ll complete your training at the capital, and then be assigned to a post along the border. You’ve already faced the Kolaghan, so you know battle, but the first station for most new foremost is along our border with the Ojutai. It’s not as volatile.”

Javed had heard of the Ojutai. They studied at monasteries high in the mountains. Meditation, martial arts...a buncha crap. Navel gazers, the whole lot of them. There was more to life, like duty, and honor. Let the Ojutai sit in their mountains. The Dromoka would brave the desert sands, and protect the precious trade route known as the Salt Road from bandits and the Kolaghan.

Of course, the peaceful nature of the Ojutai meant that such a post would probably not see much action. Javed couldn’t decide how he felt about that. One part of him relished an easy post. No point in looking for trouble. But his loyalty to his clan made him feel guilty, knowing that he wished to avoid that which others would have to do. He settled his mind by resolving to follow his Dragonlord’s orders, and not wish for more, but execute them to the best of his ability. No one could be blamed for that.

The aven gave Javed the details of his training, and then paused for a moment. “One last thing, soldier. Since you’re going to be in training soon and then posted, the scalelords decided to assign you a turn on breeding assignment before you ship out.” Javed’s eyes bulged. “In case anything happens to you, we want your strength to be passed on to the next generation.” Mirza gave a wry smile.

“What? But how-? Who?” Javed stuttered.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll handle it. You don’t have to wrack your brain. Just do your duty, as always, ok?” The aven smiled, then sobered up and gave Javed an official nod. Javed returned the acknowledgment, and they continued on to the armory.

***

Javed groaned as he left his physical examination. Even though each soldier was required to prove their fitness on a regular basis, since he was moving into a new division, he needed to do it again. They had really put him through the paces. It was far beyond regular soldier work, but having seen real battle now, Javed could see the purpose. It didn’t replicate true battle conditions, but if you couldn’t handle training, then you probably weren’t cut out for the real thing.

He had some time before he had to report to his first session of magic training, which he was both excited and nervous about. He had never done magic. That was the long and short of it. They thought Anafenza’s displays of power in the battle had been him! Javed shook his head. He really didn’t want to think about that right now, for a lot of reasons. He just had to hope that magic was a teachable skill, and that he could grasp it.

But before that, he wanted to check in on Ester. He hadn’t been able to see her since the battle. When he had been rescued, one of the first things he had asked about was her, and his other comrades. He had been assured that everyone who was still living had been taken for treatment, and she was among them.

It felt good to know that at least something good had come of this. Javed had meant to see her when he arrived, but of course he had been detained for debriefing. And then he had reported to the armory to receive his new dragonscale armor. He took a moment to appreciate his new gear. The large scale had been used to create a breastplate, and the rest of the armor was metal and leather to match. Skilled warriors knew how to move so the impenetrable dragon scale took the brunt of an attack. He even had a new steel shield and saber. He momentarily wondered what Ester and his fellows would think of him now, then blushed.

When Javed got to the infirmary tent though, he found that Ester had already been released. _Hmm…_ He wondered where she could be. He wavered for a moment on whether he should go look for her. _She’s probably resting, and I do need to get to my magic training._ He resolved to see her after his training.

***

“The two schools of magic that we use are based on the elements that make up our lives. That is to say, the Sun, and sand. It may sound simple, but it’s true.” Javed was being tutored by Sanaz, the ainok. They stood to the side of the training grounds, watching the soldiers drill.

“Most people lack the ability to channel magic. That’s alright. There are plenty of ways for even the least among us to serve. But to some, this greater gift is given.” She turned to Javed and met his eyes. “Most who do have the gift show promise in either sun or sand, as each requires different things of the user. And then they focus on honing their skills in that school. With experience and training, both schools can be learned, although even then, usually one comes easier.”

Javed nodded, focusing his attention on her words. Being able to use magic would be vastly preferable to putting his body in harm’s way. If it were all the same, he would like to serve from outside of range. Of course, whatever the clan needed of him was his duty.

Sanaz led him to a nearby table. On the table were a bowl of water and a plate with some sand on it. “This will be your first test. We will see which school you lean towards, or if it is perhaps both.” Javed nodded again, waiting for her to explain the test.

She gestured to the plate. “We will begin with sand. Sand is all around us. It easily blows in the wind. We all know about the destructive power of Sandstorms. But it can also be used to conceal. We Dromoka use our sand magic to conceal our troop movements, and plan ambushes, or to waylay and lose our enemies. They may wander in the sands, never making progress. But we can also call down the fury of the Sandstorm, flaying flesh from bone. None can withstand it, not even the dragons of other clans. Whether they flee or hide, the sand will find them.”

Sanaz motioned to the plate with sand. “You have not yet been trained. So we are not focusing on actual spells or anything complicated. I just want you to focus your will on this sand and make it move. If you can do that, you have the potential to learn sand magic.”

Javed nodded again, sweat now beading on his brow. This was the moment this had all been building towards. He wanted to be successful, but he couldn’t help being aware that everything they saw in him had been done by Anafenza. He could end up embarrassing himself, or worse, exposing himself as a fraud.

He stood by the plate of sand, and stared at it. Every ounce of his being focused on it. He reminded himself to breathe. Every once in a while, he clenched in force, trying to will the sand to move. He moved his hand over the sand, and held it rigid, trembling.

“That’s enough,” Sanaz said. Javed slumped, sucking air. He had tried so hard, but nothing.

“This is strange. The reports from the battle indicated that you summoned a sandstorm. Even if it was done in exigency, you should have been able to move a little bit of sand.”

“I don’t exactly know what happened, “Javed lamely explained. Sanaz watched him for a moment. It was clear that she had expected him to be able to do this.

“No matter, It might just be another case of faulty intelligence,” Sanaz reasoned. “The heat of battle can play tricks on memory. Or perhaps you’re just having a bad day.” She raised an eyebrow at him, and Javed flushed, burning with shame. Why? Why had he agreed to this? It would have been better to be condemned by Dromoka than pretend to be something he wasn’t.

“Well, let’s move on. Perhaps you are of the sun, after all.” She gestured to the sun above, though neither needed to look directly at it. “Sun magic is of two main parts. We use the power of the sun to heal, and strengthen our bodies to meet the demands of battle. We can also concentrate the light of the sun to blind and even roast our foes. In this form, we can even approach what our dragonlords are able to do effortlessly, with their breath. So Sun Magic is offensive as well as defensive.”

She motioned to the bowl of water. “We have this water here as a receptor for the healing magic. The offensive aspects are more difficult, so we’ll leave those for later. I want you to focus on this water, and try to generate a warm healing aspect to it. Don’t force it. It requires a calm and confident mind and heart. If successful, the water will begin to glow. Once again, don’t force it. This is why most magic users focus on one or the other. They require different things of the user.”

Javed nodded. He was trying to keep peace inside with his coming humiliation. He had no idea how to make this work, no more than with the sand. If he was some chosen, as Anafenza had said, it certainly didn’t manifest as added skill in the magical arts. 

Javed took a deep breath. He focused on the water, but didn’t let it take up his focus. He tried to remember how he had felt when Ester had been hurt. His pulse quickened, but he refused to give in to the panic. He didn’t have the right to panic. He needed to be calm. He needed to remember the sun, its warmth that kept them alive, and channel it to the water. Let it warm, let it heal. Let it do the work. 

Sanaz smiled. The water had taken on a supernatural glow. “That’s enough,” she said. Javed’s trance was broken and he gasped as he saw the glowing water. Without his concentration, the glow slowly faded. “So, it seems that we can explain how your friend survived. Not everything was hogwash.” Javed was too excited to notice her cynical tone.

“You seem to have the gist of it, Javed. We will work on it, but the main thing you need to remember is that state of mind you just had. It is the hardest thing about spell casting. Simple, but difficult. If it were easy, everyone could do it.”

“Before we end, I want to see if you can focus the sun magic for offensive capabilities.” Sanaz led him to a training dummy. “This will be your target. Once again, don’t force it. This magic isn’t coming from within you. You are accessing its power. Think of justice, think of our enemies who would destroy us. Cultivate thoughts of righteous judgment. Cutting them down so the innocent may live.”

Javed nodded, and felt those feelings rushing through him. He thought of the Kolaghan, who swept everything before them and destroyed all they could, leaving nothing behind. He thought of the venomous Silumgar, who concocted plots in their swamps and committed unspeakable atrocities on anyone unlucky enough to be in their power. Javed wished for the power to protect the innocent of his clan, and any who were powerless. They wouldn’t have to fight if those other clans would just leave them alone!

He felt the heat rising, and realized that he had gathered the power. How to release it? Go! he thought, and let all of the feeling pour out of him, aimed towards the dummy. In a split second, he saw a beam of light bridge the gap between him and the dummy. It was incredibly hot! The dummy burst into flames, but only burned for an instant before being reduced to ashes. Javed was amazed that he had done that. He felt closer than ever to the scalelords

He turned to Sanaz, who was watching approvingly. “Well done. You do indeed have the talent. We will work at refining that talent. The most important thing is understanding the nature of magic, and putting yourself in alignment with those principles.” Javed smiled. He had done it. He was useful.

***

He decided to head back to the barracks and lay down for a bit before dinner. Then he heard a voice call his name. “Javed!”

Javed turned and saw Ester walking towards him, along with Mirza. He smiled. Though he had been told that she was ok, it was good to see her up and about. It was strange to see her out of armor and with her hair down. He wondered why she was with Mirza. A thought occurred to him, but he brushed it aside.

When they met, Javed and Ester embraced with a hearty pound on the back, then separated. “It’s so good to see you, Ester!” Javed said. “I didn’t get a chance to check in on you before now.”

“Oh, it’s ok, Javed. I know you were occupied. I’m just glad that they found you after the battle.” Ester smiled. “I hear you’re coming up in the world.” 

Javed blushed and shook his head. “I’m just trying to serve as asked by our dragonlords.”

“Speaking of that,” Mirza began, “that’s why I’m here.” As Javed gave him his attention, he noticed Ester look at her feet shyly. “Remember how I said your breeding assignment had been moved up?” Javed froze. “Well, Dragonlord Dromoka has approved a match.” He gestured to Ester, who stepped forward and met his eyes.

Javed didn’t know what to say. This was highly irregular. Usually, breeding mates didn’t know each other before hand, in order to avoid baggage. It also encouraged feelings of duty to clan as the driving force behind the union, instead of unseemly feelings of preference. But Ester was...a close comrade! And he had saved her life! It was impossible for there not to be conflicting feelings here. _Why would Dragonlord Dromoka choose this-_ And then he realized he was questioning his Dragonlord. Javed took a deep breath to calm himself.

Mirza went on. “You are both healthy humans, who have shown great loyalty to the clan. Dromoka wishes to preserve those qualities for future generations. It will also partially coincide with Ester’s rehab assignment, so she can continue to serve in full capacity.”

“It is my honor to serve Dromoka,” Ester said. She met Javed’s eyes. There was a question in them.

Javed swallowed. Of course, no matter who it was, or when it came, there would have been awkwardness. He squared his shoulders. Some things were more important than awkwardness. Like doing the right thing. “I am also honored to serve Dromoka, and to be paired with such an exemplary fellow servant.” 

Ester smiled, but Mirza waved off the compliment. “Of course. Dromoka has spoken. So let it be.” Javed and Ester echoed his words. “There is no specific rush, other than Javed’s deployment. So you have a month. You know that this isn’t an endorsement of any relationship between you two, other than that of clan mates and for the time being, breed mates. Once this assignment is completed, your status as breedmates will expire, until Dromoka sees fit to assign you again. And there is no promise that you will be paired again. Understood?”

Javed felt the weight of duty. He was nothing more than a clan mate, and breed mate, to Ester. And she must be nothing more than that to him. While attachment wasn’t the worst crime, it belied a lack of commitment to the cause. And that was often the beginning of greater dereliction of duty. He knew it could be hard. He had seen others struggle with this assignment, and some fall under the weight. But it wasn’t a surprise. He had grown up in this world. It was all he knew, and if others could do it, so could he. He briefly thought of Anafenza, then put her from his mind.

“I understand,” he replied. Ester looked at him, then nodded.

“I understand as well.”

Mirza nodded. “Very well. I’ll leave you two alone then. You are still expected to attend to your duties. Javed with training, and Ester with your rehab assignment. However, your free time will be spent together until your breeding assignment is fulfilled.”

Javed and Ester nodded, and Mirza bid them farewell. Javed looked to Ester, who was studiously watching Mirza leave. “When did they tell you about this?” he asked.

She turned to meet his glance. “I was approached earlier today. They told me I was being considered for a breeding assignment, since I was injured. When Mirza came to get me, he told me I would be partnered with you. I found out only a little before you.”

Javed breathed. This was completely new territory for him. And he knew it had to be also for Ester. They both were fresh out of basic training. Javed had always been aware that this could happen, been taught and indoctrinated to know that this was the way of things, but it was very different to be living it.

“Um, I was just going to get dinner. Would you like to accompany me?” Javed ventured.

“Yes, that would be good,” Ester replied awkwardly. Javed hesitated for a moment, then headed towards the mess hall. Ester followed slightly behind.

As they waited in line with their fellow soldiers, the silence stretched. Javed took a breath to speak, but realized he didn’t have anything to say. Ester looked at him expectantly, so he just shook his head. Ester hmm’d and went back to studying the ground.

They got their food and found a seat at one of the tables. No one paid them much mind. Soldiers mostly hung out with others from their unit, but it wasn’t a hard and fast rule. And it was considered bad form to make a big deal out of those currently serving breeding assignments.

They sat in silence for a moment. Then Javed barged ahead. “I’m really glad you’re ok, Ester. I know there’s been a lot to deal with in a little bit of time, but I wanted to say that.” He smiled nervously.

Ester returned the smile. “I am grateful to your swift actions. Many clan members were saved due to your quick thinking.” Javed blushed, but his smile left and he looked down at his food. Ester noticed this and also frowned, looking away.

Ester tried again. “I...heard what happened with...Katar. That must have been…” She trailed off, and Javed didn’t know how she would have ended that sentence.

His eyes teared up as he forced himself to go back to that day. “It was the worst moment of my life. No pain I’ve ever felt could compare.” Ester flinched and instinctively reached out a comforting hand, although it didn’t make it all the way across the table. Javed weighed the pain of trying to save Ester and of killing Katar, and it didn’t even compare. One was trying to save a comrade, to pull together, to win. But if she had died, it would have been an honorable death. He could have remembered her bravery.

But the other…

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Ester said. Javed swiped his hand as if to brush those words away.

“I’m actually glad to talk about it. To talk to someone who understands.” He again thought briefly of Anafenza. He banished the thought. Dromoka had already judged him, and given him his sentence. Maybe if Ester could forgive him, he could forgive himself.

He opened his mouth to continue, but Ester spoke first. “Let’s go for a walk. We can go to the groves.” She quickly stood up and took her dishes. Javed had to swallow his thoughts, and follow.

***

The Sun was setting behind the city walls as they made their way among the trees. Each aerie city, though they lived in the desert, was built around stable water supplies, and so there was greenery and life. It provided a stark contrast to the endless sand of the wastes.

Ester took a moment to enjoy the cool air of dusk. “Everything seems so different today,” she said. “Even though it’s only been a few days, it feels like a lot longer.” She looked at Javed. 

“You’re telling me. This morning I was sure I was going to be executed, or exiled. Now I’ve been promoted to Foremost, I’m learning Sun Magic, and…” He trailed off, but what was left unsaid hung in the air.

Ester choose to let it lie. “So, tell me...about what happened. I still don’t know the whole story, beyond what I’ve heard from others.” Javed looked down in though for a moment.

“There was, some kind of sandstorm. I thought it might have been magic, but now it looks like it was just a random occurrence. I couldn’t see clearly. I wanted to help Katar. She was losing to the warkite!” Javed’s voice started to rise, but he paused to compose himself. “And I screwed everything up. I killed my scalelord. And my fear is that I’ll carry this weight for the rest of my life.”

Ester reached out her hand and rested it on Javed’s arm. “Javed...Of course you will carry that weight. But Dromoka has given you an opportunity to redeem yourself. In lieu of death, she has given you the opportunity to be of use to the clan. Not everyone who offends so gets that opportunity.”

“I know,” Javed said, almost sniffling. “And I’m glad. But it’s still hard.” Ester watched his slumped shoulders, and felt an overwhelming urge to comfort him. She reached out and took him into a comforting embrace, his head resting on her shoulder as she stroked his hair.

“I know,” was her reply.

They stood there in silence for a moment. Then Javed’s hands slowly lowered from where they had been wrapped around her back, trailing down and coming to a rest around her waist, on her hips. Ester felt a strange feeling. She became more aware of his body in contact with hers. She looked up into Javed’s eyes. There was an intensity there that had not been there before. Then he gently pulled her hips closer to him.

“Javed…” she managed to croak out.

“Ester…” he whispered. Her lips parted, and she felt her eyes torn between his gaze and his mouth. Her heart was beating faster, almost like a training exercise, and she could almost swear she felt the same rhythm under his armor. Something was happening. 

Javed leaned in towards her, slowly. Time seemed to slow down. Even though she couldn’t have fathomed anything like this happening when this walk had started, things had moved so fast. Like a switch had been flipped. And she wanted this, whatever _this_ was. She was ready.

Then their gaze was broken, as Javed looked up at something behind her. And like that, the spell was broken. “Is someone there?” She asked, quickly turning around and scanning for any passerby. She didn’t feel ashamed. After all, they had been assigned to each other. But she did feel a self conscious heat rushing to her cheeks.

“No...I just remembered something…” Javed replied, his hold on her loosening. Ester looked up at him perplexed. He looked back down at her. “I’m sorry, I just remembered I had somewhere to be. It’s important.” They finally separated, though Javed watched her, as if checking with her.

“Oh, uh, ok,” Ester jumbled. “I understand. You have a lot of new responsibilities. We’ll have plenty of time to...uh…”

“Thank you,” Javed replied, saving her from trying to think of what to say. He began to walk past her, as she wondered what had happened. But he paused beside her, and quickly gave her a peck on the cheek. “I will see you tomorrow.”

Ester put her hand to where he had kissed her, as she watched him leave. _My training had nothing to prepare me for this_ , she thought.

***

Javed shook his head as he took his leave. What had that been about? Javed could remember looking at female clan members before, and being interested, but this had been on another level. His body had been trembling! Was that supposed to happen?

And then he had had to leave Ester there! He still didn’t know how things would have played out if he had stayed. He decided to put it out of his mind for now. There were more important things to attend to right now.

When he had looked over Ester’s shoulder, he had caught a glimpse of the spirit Anafenza. Within the city walls no less! In the hustle and bustle since he had returned, his visit with the spirit had seemed more and more like a dream. Yet there she was, visible in the dim light, almost glowing.

She had beckoned him, and then turned and faded away. Javed had had to lie to his comrade...to Ester, in order to get away. He felt bad for doing so, but the alternative was unthinkable. He came to the building where she had been standing, and peeked around it. Nothing. He pressed on, and then saw an alley between two buildings. Javed felt a pull, so he gave a glance in both directions before slipping into the shadows.

Once he reached the middle, he waited, leaning against the wall. Gradually a glow appeared in the darkness, filling out to show the spirit warrior Anafenza. She who had first approached him in the desert, who had helped him in that ill-fated battle, who had helped him save Ester’s life. Yet it was also she who had told him about the alleged history of his clan, who had told him that he was meant for a great calling, who probably wanted him to commit treason.

“Greetings, Javed,” she said. She was floating a few feet off the ground, and glowing faintly, enough to appear visible in the dark night air.

Javed bowed low at her greeting. Though she had never requested it, he couldn’t help but be polite to such an unusual figure. When he looked up at her again, she had a crooked grin on her face. Javed blinked, frowning slightly in puzzlement.

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?” She was outright grinning now. Javed gaped and felt the blood rush to his cheeks. Had she been watching him and Ester? “I guess she was showing her gratitude.” Anafenza laughed. “I almost thought you two were going to go at it right there.”

Javed gasped, scandalized. “How vulgar! Please, leave her out of this. I feel bad enough about meeting with you already.”

“Relax, it’s not like you’re cheating on her,” Anafenza replied with a wink. “It’s not like there’s anything to cheat on, anyway. Am I right?” Anafenza said as she raised an eyebrow at Javed.

“It almost feels like I am,” Javed replied. 

Anafenza did a double take. “Whuh? ...Oh, right.”

Javed grimaced at his boots. “Everyone in the clan thinks I’m a hero. I was promoted, I’m learning magic, and now I get the chance to breed, that some never get! And yet here I am, listening to traitorous rhetoric from an blasphemous spirit.”

Anafenza rolled her eyes. “Are you listening to yourself? The only reason you think any of that is normal is because you were raised in it. Why do you and little soldier girl need permission, if that’s what you want? Why are human families so dangerous? Why is the past such a problem? Because our people didn’t always live that way!”

“You dare to talk about our people!” Javed hissed. Anafenza halted, grudgingly taken aback. “I don’t know about you, but I _know_ some of the things we’re asked to do are hard. I _know_ it’s easy to find fault. But I _believe_ in my clan! I _believe_ that our way of life has preserved us in this harsh land, and against the dangers of the Kolaghan and the Silumgar! It may not fit everyone, but it is right for us!”

He finished, breathing heavily. Though his voice hadn’t risen above a loud whisper, it had been so emotional that he felt exerted.

Anafenza glared at him. “Is that really how you feel?” Javed stared at her, then nodded. “Then I guess this is over,” she said. Javed gasped in surprise. “I’m not interested in corrupting you, boy.” Her omission of his name hit him. “If you’re that much of a believer, then I guess we’ve got nothing to talk about. Though I think you’re fooling yourself. After all, who followed me here?” Her lip curled. “You could have stayed.”

Javed could only glare in response. He had no rebuttal. Anafenza ignored him, but he stayed where he was. When he didn’t say anything, she started to fade away.

“WAIT!” he actually shouted. Anafenza quickly reappeared and shushed him. 

“Not so loud!” she hissed.

“I thought you were going to leave!” Javed replied.

“I was. Why? Does that bother you?” Anafenza mocked. “Did you think I was going to be your little spirit buddy? Ha. If you’re not in, I’ve got other things to do.”

Javed groaned. His fists clenched and grasped, as if wrestling with his decision. “If I let you go, I will always wonder. Talking with you has introduced the sin of doubt into my mind. I need to see this through. I need to get your side. I need to soothe my conscience.”

Anafenza regarded him seriously. “And what if you don’t like what you find?” she asked imperiously.

Javed growled. “Then...I’ll do the right thing.”

Anafenza suddenly smiled. “That’s all I want from you,” she said, as her hands floated to the sides, and she leaned down towards him. Javed gaped. He had never been this close to her before. She truly was beautiful. She laid a tender kiss on his forehead, and though he could not feel a physical touch, a warm feeling spread through his body, like the feel of sun magic.

Javed sucked in his breath. The reason he had listened to her in the first place, was because of this feeling. He had reasoned that no one who engendered this feeling could be corrupt. If he was to judge good and evil, he had to believe in his instincts. And yet she was leading him to apostasy and treason. If he followed her, he might never be able to fit in again. And yet, a part of him wanted, no, needed to know. It was already too late. If he turned his back now, he would never be at peace. 

“Alright, now that that’s settled,” Anafenza continued, “I’m going to let you know where to go to learn the truth about our history. Once I give you this information, your fate is sealed. If you betray us, or try to turn us in, we will kill you. I will be watching you to make sure.”

Javed gulped at the threat, but he knew it made sense. He would go along for now. But if it came down to it, if there was something he could not countenance, his life was a small price to pay. He nodded his agreement.

Anafenza waited, as if expecting more complaints. When none came, she nodded as well. “Javed, keep calm. I’m going to implant the memories in your mind. That way there’s no evidence left behind.” She descended to his level, and after a moment of hesitation, approached him. He was surprised when she came very close, and then melded into his body. He felt her presence, distinct and rushing, slightly disturbing his own equilibrium. Then, as they aligned, he could feel her mind!

He saw the location of a grove of trees. They had names carved into their bark. Fruit grew on them, but not like any that was common in the Dromoka gardens and groves. There, the trees were tended in secret. And spirits lived in the trees. He saw it with such clarity that it was as if he had been there a hundred times. And he knew the way. There were other images and feelings whirling around, but they couldn’t overtake the main vision. Yet as always, he couldn’t feel anything negative or ugly in her presence. Then, as suddenly and forcefully as it had started, it was over.

Anafenza emerged from his body and went back to her floating position. Javed, for his part, was forced to lean against the wall to hold himself up. “Wow.”

“What did you see?” Anafenza asked.

“I saw the grove. I saw how to get there,” Javed replied.

“Did you see anything else?” she pressed.

“No,” he replied defensively. “Should I have?”

“No, that’s fine,” Anafenza said. “I just haven’t had to do that often, and when we’re merged, our thoughts are open to each other.”

Javed thought a moment. “Wait a minute. Does that mean you saw into my mind?”

Anafenza merely smiled. Javed felt a cold sweat rise up on his skin. That could mean anything. He wondered if there was anything incriminating.

“Don’t worry,” Anafenza reassured him. “I won’t hold it against you.” Then she winked. Javed blushed. Now he wasn’t sure if she had seen anything, or she was just making it up to tease him.

“Alright, then, I’m glad we dealt with that. Now we need a way to get you to the grove without arousing suspicion. We have a few collaborators in town who can get you an alibi. It won’t hold up to much scrutiny, but it should do for what we need.” Javed nodded, wondering how far this conspiracy went.

“What about my training?” Javed asked.

“We’ve thought of that. Don’t worry. We’ll send our person in the morning. We’ll get you to the grove, you’ll hear our whole spiel, and then we can get down to business.” As she spoke, Anafenza gave him a stern glance that preemptively answered any questions about his choice in the matter. Javed understood. There was no turning back now. But he would always have a choice.

“Ok, Javed, you should head to the barracks. Just act normal and don’t draw attention to yourself. I’ll know if you do.”

A thought occurred to him. “So you’re going to watch me while I sleep?” he teased, trying to pay her back for earlier. 

Anafenza smiled, but didn’t rise to the bait. “Absolutely.”

The smiles faded from their faces, and they watched each other for a moment. Then Javed turned to go. He paused, then turned around once more to look back at the spirit, but she was already gone.

As he made his way to the barracks, his mind was racing. He had nothing substantial to offer, even if he wanted to turn her in. He could lead them to the grove, but he knew he would be dead long before they would arrive. He thought briefly about Ester, but decided that she would have to buy whatever excuse they came up with for him.

As he lay in bed, he wondered how he had gotten caught up in all this. He thought about his life in the clan. Things were building for him. If he kept himself clean...who knows how far he could advance? But on this path he was walking...the least he could expect was a traitor’s death. And the alternative...was worse. His stomach twisted as he tossed and turned.

***

**Shortly after Javed left to meet with Anafenza…**

Ester made her way back to the womens’ barracks. There wasn’t much to do, now that the sun had set. As she approached the building, she saw Mirza waiting at the entrance. She knew immediately why he was here.

“Ester, how are you this fine evening?”

“Well, and yourself?” she responded politely. Though he wasn’t a dragon, Mirza acted on their behalf, so he was due her respect.

“And how was Javed?” he questioned.

She blushed, remembering their encounter. “He was fine too. Nothing to report.”

Mirza raised an avian eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure!” she retorted. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you are asking me to do. As I understood it, Javed and I have been assigned as buh...breeding partners. Why am I under investigation? I’m following orders.”

Javed sighed. “You are not the one under investigation.”

Ester’s eyes widened. “Javed?”

Mirza shushed her. Ester looked around, but there weren’t many people about at this hour.

“Javed?” Ester whispered. “Is this about Katar?”

Mirza eyed her imperiously. “I’ll only tell you what you need to know. Javed’s story of what happened to Katar sounds legitimate, and his record is clean. But the dragons are not sitting well with one of their own dying. Let’s just say they don’t believe in coincidences.”

Ester looked puzzled. “Why would someone want to kill one of our scalelords?” Then a thought occurred to her and she gasped.

“Whatever you just thought of, forget it,” Mirza warned her. “I’m not asking you to go prying or snooping. Whatever is going on, the dragons are paying serious attention. It would be best to be completely ignorant, if you know what I mean.”

Ester nodded, then burst out, “Hey, then what’s the big idea of pairing me with Javed then, if he’s under watch?”

Mirza schooled his expression. “We picked you for this specifically because you are close with Javed. Watch him. Stick close to him. Keep an eye out. If he acts suspicious, tell me. But don’t go any further than that. If he shows no signs, than that must mean he’s innocent.” Mirza shrugged. “In which case, your assignment stands.”

Ester stared at the aven. “You’re serious.”

Mirza glanced back at her. “Deadly. When it comes to open warfare, the Dromoka can hold our own. When it comes to conspiracies and secrets, we have a hard time. Dromoka came up with this plan herself. You should be honored to play such an integral part.”

Ester stammered, “I...I am.” Though her feelings were not as settled.

“Good.” Mirza nodded. “Look, we haven’t said anything because you’re on rehab and breeding assignment. But the plan is, once you have the child and we place it in another aerie, to promote you as well.” Ester gasped. “We know you were in the fray as well. Just do your duty. Obey your orders, And you will be rewarded. As all are in the clan Dromoka. Understand?” 

“...Yes.” 

He nodded goodbye, and turned to leave. Ester watched him go, still thinking about everything that had changed in just one day.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a week since Javed's meeting with the Dragonlord. Since then, he had been studying magic with his Ainok teacher, Sanaz, every day, in addition to his military training. They had been focusing on meditation and, as Sanaz put it, getting in touch with the magic.

Javed inhaled, held it for a moment, then let it out. He was sitting crosslegged on the ground, facing his teacher. He was wearing his new scale mail, made from the scale of Dragonlord Dromoka. They were in one of the training grounds, which had been cordoned off for this purpose. His eyes were closed, allowing his other senses to take on heightened sensitivity. He could feel a light breeze. He could hear workouts going on in the next training ground.

Javed took another deep, measured breath. This was actually really nice. It was next to impossible to find time to just...be…like this. Most scaleguards were kept busy all day with training and orders, with just enough time to eat and sleep. It was fulfilling, but left little time for reflection. I guess that's one of the perks of being a magic user, he thought. There aren't as many, so more care is taken with their training.

"Think on the concepts of justice… Dwell on the ideals of honor…" Sanaz chanted. They had already gone over this, but Sanaz would occasionally bring up old concepts to reinforce them. The goal was to get in the proper state of mind to give the spell power. Eventually it would become second nature. Right now, Javed was struggling to connect his meditation to anything outside of himself.

_How's the training going?_

"Huh?" Javed's eyes shot open and he looked around wildly.

Sanaz opened one eye and glared at him. "I don't hear meditating," she warned.

"Sorry," Javed replied, chagrined, and closed his eyes again. That voice had given him a start. It had sounded like it had been right next to him. Could it have been one of his stray thoughts?

 _Nervous much?_ The voice came again. He almost jumped again, but caught himself mid fidget. Sanaz opened an eye and glared again, then returned to meditation. But Javed recognized the voice now. And if Sanaz couldn't hear it, then that meant…

 _Anafenza?_ he thought to himself.

 _In the flesh. Or rather…_ Then he heard her melodious laugh.

 _Are you...in my head?_ He asked, wondering if he was going crazy.

 _Actually, I'm right behind you. Don't turn around!_ She ordered as he almost did just that. _Silly goose. I'm invisible, and I'm speaking to you through your mind. No one will know I'm here unless they use magic, which, if you keep cool, they won't feel the need to use._

At that, Javed calmed down, his body appearing to return to its meditative state. However, internally his mind was whirling. _What do you want?_ He asked eagerly, and then realized how that sounded. _I mean, not to be rude, I just would like to know,_ he finished lamely.

Anfenza laughed again. _Don't worry about it, Javed. I'm in your head. I can feel what you're feeling. We can communicate more freely this way._

Javed thought about that. _Do all spirits communicate this way?_

 _We can only do this if we're invited in_ Anafenza said. _You could force me out of your mind. I don't have any ties. I can only enter in as far as you let me._

Javed sighed internally. _That's reassuring._

 _Right, because if I could I would turn you into my thrall!_ Anafenza laughed. Javed laughed uneasily, not really seeing the humor.

 _So...why are you here? Regardless of if people can see you or not, this is kind of a risk. Is there something you need to tell me?_ Javed asked.

 _Yes, as a matter of fact,_ Anafenza assured him. _Look, you've been in this magic training for a while, right? Do you feel like you're getting the hang of it yet?_

Javed felt his aura go down. _…No. We've been meditating for days, and yet I don't feel any more able to cast these spells._

He could sense, rather than see, Anafenza roll her eyes. _That's because they're teaching it all wrong. While it's true that there is some talent involved with magic, the Dromoka should have more magic users than they do. The ones they have learn magic in spite of the training, not because of it._

Javed started. _How can that be?_

_The spells we Dromoka use are based off of the Scalelord's natural abilities. These "spells" come as naturally to our dragons as breathing. But that's a hinderance when trying to teach those that are not so naturally inclined. Some of the other clans withhold the greater secrets of magic from their humanoids, to keep them weak. In the Dromoka, where all are equal under the dragons, it's more of a teaching problem. Basically, they suck as teachers, and their ego prevents them from acknowledging that._

Javed cringed at Anafenza's casual blasphemy, even as it rang true. _If that's true, then teach me the right way!_

 _Ask and ye shall receive,_ Anafenza replied, and Javed could feel her grin. _The first thing you need to understand, is the energy that powers our spells._

 _Energy?_ Javed asked. _I thought magic was...well, magic._

 _Wow, real insightful,_ Anafenza dead panned. _Magic has rules and principles, just like anything else in life. If you learn those rules, you will be that much further ahead. The most basic rule is about the energy of spells, or mana._

 _Mana?_ Javed reiterated.

_Yes. Mana is found all around us. It is in nature, it is in the land. Mana is the energy of our world. When we use magic and cast spells, we call on that energy, mana, to give power to them. Without mana, nothing can be done._

_Hmm, that sounds like it could be true. Ok, continue._

_Thanks for your permission,_ she snarked. _But not just anyone can call on the mana of the world. The land requires something of the user. It requires a connection. Spending time in a place, and/or understanding and embodying the nature of that place and it's mana._

_The nature of...Nature?_

Anafenza chuckled. _I'm not surprised you don't know. Most people don't, which is why magic users are so rare. It doesn't take much dedication to pick up a sword. But just as you've trained your body as a warrior, so must you train your mind and spirit to utilize magic._

Javed pondered her words. _I'm ready._

Anafenza's aura brightened. _Ok, let's start simple. This land you've been living in. The deserts of Arashin. There's a reason the Dromoka live here. Or rather, there's a reason that the people who live here have become the Dromoka clan._

_Huh?_

_The people who live here are either drawn to, or molded by, the mana of this place. Those who don't embody the traits of that mana, will feel out of place, and move on._

Anafenza continued. _Sanaz has it half right. Justice, honor, peace, order. These are indeed important things. Not because the spell requires it, but because the mana that powers the spell does. These lands embody the ideals of law, structure, order, justice, and cooperation. For our clan to even exist here, we must follow those ideals. And to call on its power for our spells, it is no different._

_Do you understand, Javed? You, who are a son of the Dromoka, have embodied these ideals your whole life. There is no one more qualified to call on the power of this land. The only thing stopping you is your ignorance and unbelief. Now that you know...do you believe?_

Javed did not respond. But Anafenza could feel his spirit gathering. Then, Javed rose to his feet. Sanaz opened her eyes. "What are you doing? If you're not going to take this seriously, then maybe you-" But her words were cut off at the serious expression on his face.

Javed took a breath, and concentrated. He visualized the land, the land he loved so much. He thought of the principles that he valued so much. Now he knew they were independent of clan, or individuals. They were eternal. Justice, order, helping others. Suddenly, he felt great power flow into him. Raw energy. Yet it soothed him. It reinforced everything that he already believed. At that moment, he felt in touch with Arashin like never before.

As Sanaz watched, an aura of white light began to glow around Javed. Even his eyes shone. Then Javed looked at the dusty ground around them, and stretched forth his hand. The spell that had been so hard to fathom before, now effortlessly went into effect. The sand exploded from the ground, whirling and rising with great force. Sanaz was forced to cover her face with her shawl to keep out the raging sands. "Enough!" she cried out, and Javed, startled, allowed the connection to the mana to subside.

The spell, with no further energy being given by Javed, peetered out. The sand settled back to the ground. Yet there were sand drifts piled up against the walls, and smaller piles of sand on every surface in the training ground. In the ensuing silence, they could hear other soldiers commenting on the sudden sandstorm. A few even peeked in to see what was going on.

Sanaz stared up at Javed, who was looking at his hands in wonder. Finally, she got up and marched over to him. "What is the meaning of this? Were you holding out to make me look like a fool?"  
Javed looked at her. "What? N-no, nothing like that! It just...came to me."

Sanaz watched his expression, looking for any hint of untruth. "Hmph, well, anyway, thus ends our training for the day. And remember, just because you can summon a huge sandstorm, doesn't make you a master. Subtlety is just as important, and much more difficult. Remember that when you're patting yourself on the back." She gave him a stern look, then turned and walked away, brushing sand out of her robes.

 _Well done,_ he heard Anafenza in his mind. _Now that you understand how mana works, you should be able to easily use Sand and Sun magics. But Sanaz had a point. Just because you can use this magic, doesn't mean you can use it well. Don't get complacent. You've just opened a whole new world. If you don't keep getting better, then it will all be a waste._

Javed just stared at his hand, remembering the power he had just wielded. It had been so easy. It had felt so right. He concentrated again, and the warm golden glow of sun magic encompassed his body. He could feel strength and healing pour into his body. "No chance," he replied. "This is only the beginning." He once again felt Anafenza's smile.

* * *

As Javed left the training ground, he heard someone call his name.

"Javed!" He turned to the sound, and saw Ester approaching. He smiled to see her. So far their breeding assignment had been...unconventional, but the time they had been spending together left him  
ever more enamored of her.

"Javed!" she called again as she reached him.

"Ester, how are you doing today?" Javed asked.

Ester gave a schooled smile. It had become part of her persona of late, and it troubled Javed. It was openly welcoming, but belied the presence of something deeper. He found himself wondering if she regretted this breeding assignment. In the end, they were just doing their duty, but Javed wanted this to be a good experience for Ester. He felt guilty that he was beyond thrilled at his match. He had never been in this situation before, and being paired with a good friend was a comforting experience. Although, as time went by, he found himself regretting that it was only to be temporary. And in the future, she might even be assigned with someone else.

Javed flinched at the thought, and Ester, of course, noticed. "I'm well, but how are you?" she probed.

"Great, actually," he smiled, trying to put his faux pas behind him. "I just had a breakthrough in my magic training."

"Oh?" Ester was looking at him, yet her tone seemed as if she were preoccupied. Javed bristled a little, but then smiled as he thought of something. He put his his hand on Ester's shoulder and met her eyes, which broke her out of her reverie. She watched as he leaned in for a kiss. For a moment, it was just like that evening in the grove, her lips soft and yielding against his, her eyes closed, and her hand even cupping his cheek. Then she pulled back with a look of shock.

Javed worked to make sure that the hurt didn't show in his eyes. It had been like that almost immediately. There was a distance between them. If it had been anyone else, he could have attributed it to nerves or awkwardness. But they had shared a moment, and he knew it. Yet now that was gone, and the lack was noticeable. Though there were times he could tease it out of her.

Ester played off her shock by grabbing his arm to lead him to the barracks. He couldn't help but wonder what was holding her back? Were breeding assignments always like this? And more importantly, how was he going to deal with the end of the assignment? Though it was troublesome, he wanted to please her. He wanted to be what she wanted.

They were greeted by a few of their fellow soldiers as they entered the mess hall. After they exchanged pleasantries, Javed could swear he saw them smirking as they walked away. Come now, he thought, no need to make sport!

They found a place to sit, and began eating. Javed watched Ester subtly, trying to discern her mood. She was looking off into space.

"A dromok for your thoughts," he asked, deciding to just be upfront. If she reacted badly, he could just be silent then.

To his surprise, she just smiled. "I was just thinking. You've only been training this whole time, correct?" Now her eyes were focused on him, and he could feel himself getting lost in them.  
"Yes, much training," Javed laughed. "Physical training in the morning, and magic training in the afternoon. Short breaks for water and meals, and then bed time. Same old, minus the magic training." He briefly thought of showing her what he had learned in the magical arts, then wondered where that prideful thought had come from.

But Ester was already moving onto her next thought. "Hmm, your instructors would easily be able to vouch for you. So what…" She trailed off. "I don't know…" she mumbled under her breath.

Javed didn't speak, but slid his hand over to hers, taking her smaller hand in his. She stared down mutely at their shared hands, as he rubbed her skin with his thumb. It felt warm. It felt tough from training. It was Ester, part of her. Without noticing, their eyes rose to meet. Javed smiled, but Ester appeared more conflicted than ever.

"I'm tired…" Ester said quietly. "Can we...go back?"

"Of course," Javed replied. They left their dishes at the table and exited, still holding hands. In all the bustle of getting up, he hadn't wanted to let go, and he had felt her clutching at him as well.

They walked past the usual barracks housing to a special section set aside for those on "assignment". Javed had been worried initially about what they would find, but most of those on assignment were either inexperienced and insecure like they were, or experienced and desensitized to the whole ordeal. Having said that, he could occasionally hear noises coming from their neighbors' dwellings.

They entered their sparse accommodations. The regular barracks were shared, long rooms with lines of bunks. It was designed to take away the sense of personal space and individuality. That wasn't ideal for breeding assignments, for obvious reasons. But that was no reason to splurge. They had a front room with a table and some chairs. The designers had probably felt they had to put something in this room, even though it mainly served as a anteroom so that the bedroom could be separate, and private.  
It was a strange thing, having a space to themselves. If being able to be…close in such a way was a new experience, being alone together definitely fueled the desire to enjoy that new experience.

Javed led her to the bedroom, thinking she would lie down. But once they were alone, Ester turned to him and snaked her arms around his waist, pulling him close. He looked down at her, but she was avoiding his gaze.

"Javed?" she murmured.

"Yes, Ester?" he replied.

"...What do you think of me?"

Javed paused, thinking how best to answer that. The mood helped him to know. Moonlight was shining in through the window, leaving shadows on the bed. He raised his hand to her face, tucking it under her chin and gently, gently, lifting her gaze until she was looking into his eyes. Her eyes sparkled in the dim light, a tear just beginning to run down her cheek. His mind whirled, wondering what was wrong, but his instincts were guiding him. He leaned in and kissed her.

This kiss was different from before. Ester had seen this coming all the way, and hadn't shied away. As he kissed her, he could feel her body pressing against his, her hands trailing up his back and pulling him closer. Their kisses, awkward to begin with, had gotten better, or perhaps they had merely adjusted to each other.

Almost by accident, their lips parted, and one of them, though they could not remember which, slipped their tongue across that barrier. Suddenly there was a new urgency to the proceedings. Electricity surged through their bodies, as their hands went everywhere, trying to feel and touch anything they could.

Javed's brain was scrambled. He couldn't even ponder on what was happening, but a part of him was so happy. He could feel Ester's energy! It felt right, it felt great! When they finally came up for air, Ester backed up to the bed and threw herself back onto it, never breaking eye contact. "Come," was her command, and Javed obeyed.

Now horizontal, there was a new meaning to everything. At first they resumed kissing, but then he felt to move to her neck, and the bared portion of her shoulder. Ester moaned, curling her fingers in his hair, holding him close. His hands roved of their own accord, fanning the flames in her body unknowingly, as she wriggled beneath him.

After a time, Javed desired to go lower, but Ester's armor was in the way. He actually growled in frustration, which got a laugh out of her. For her part, she leaned up and began untying the straps. Javed tried to help, prying at the offending fasteners. Partway through, he left off helping her and quickly began untying his own armor, even standing up off the bed to more quickly finish the task. He carefully placed his scale mail down by the wall, traditional regard for it holding even through his heightened desires.

He returned to the bed and gathered Ester into his arms. He could feel her hard muscles, as well as her softer parts, but compared to her armor, she was soft and warm. He leaned in for another kiss, but then he noticed that Ester wasn't responding anymore. He glanced at her face, and saw her eyes wide in horror.

"Ester? W-what is it?" Javed leaned back, still holding her in his arms.

Ester extricated herself from his grasp and sat facing away from him on the other edge of the bed. "I...I can't."

Javed hung his head. "Why? What have I done wrong?" His voice had a pleading undertone. _Just tell me!_

"It's...it's not you. I just need some more time," Ester sighed, putting her face in her hands.

Javed involuntarily reached out his hand to comfort her, but stopped before he could touch her. "When? We don't have much time before I ship out! I don't want to get in any trouble with the Dragonlord, and I don't want you to get in trouble either-"

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?!" Ester screamed. She had shot to her feet, still facing away from him, now breathing heavily.

Javed rose to his feet as well, stepping away from the bed, and the door as well, in case she was going to make for the exit. He could feel adrenaline pumping through his veins, readying him for a fight. But Ester wasn't going to attack him...was she? Well, he would never have guessed such strange behavior from her, so he had to be open to anything.

Ester peeked over her shoulder, and saw Javed watching her in silence. Then she turned and rushed out of the room, out of their hut, and into the night. Javed boggled to think of how things had shifted so much, so quickly. He sat down on the edge of the bed, sighing heavily.

* * *

Ester hurried through the night streets. She had never had much reason to visit the officers' section of the aerie, but she knew her current destination. As she approached the door, she looked back and forth to see if anyone was watching. She couldn't believe she was doing this, but things couldn't continue as they were. She knocked on the door.

Mirza opened the door, and stuck out his long thin neck, his avian eyes peering at her in surprise. "Ester? What are you doing here?"

"Mirza," she began, and she hated how her voice cracked. "I can't do this anymore. I can't spy on Javed! Either take me off this assignment, or make a decision!" Once she began, a tide of emotion rose up, threatening her steadied composure with hiccupping sobs.

Mirza's expression was a mixture of shock, discomfort, and a little guilt. "Well, I say, this is highly irregular." Ester choked and shuddered at his deflection, and Mirza had to stop again and stare. It was an understatement to say he was uncomfortable with this situation. "Ester, this isn't like you," he admonished.

"Not like me?!" she retorted, drawing herself up and fixing him in the eye. "You tell me to spy on one of my closest friends, that he might be a traitor to the clan," Mirza frantically tried to shush her, "and in the same breath put me on a breeding assignment with him, telling me to flip a coin! Am I to fulfill my breeding assignment with a trusted clanmate?! Or am I to spy on a traitor?! And I pay the price either way!"

In the course of her rant, Mirza realized that it was expedient to get Ester off the street and into some semblance of privacy. He ushered her into his fore room. His quarters were much like the ones she was currently sharing with Javed. Functional, yet luxurious compared to the shared barracks that the scaleguards used.

Mirza gestured Ester to take a seat at the table, while he himself stood. Now that Ester had gotten that off her chest, she was surprised that Mirza hadn't called the guard on her. She was breaking several rules, and he would have been justified to let her spend a night in the brig. Instead, he seemed…guilty.

"W-well," he began, "as you've said, this was a bit of a tough proposition. We appreciate the work and diligence you've put in." Ester looked at him expectantly. "Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, we have not found anything to contravert Javed's status as a faithful clan member. No secret meetings, no apostate rethoric. He continues to excel in his training and is a shining example of everything our clan stands for." He ducked his head, as if he expected to be yelled at

Ester couldn't believe it. After all of the stress and doubt… She leapt at Mirza and embraced him. The aven let out a squawk.

"I'm so glad," she whispered tearfully. Mirza patted her shoulder awkwardly.

"Yes, yes. I take it you are feeling better?" Mirza ventured.

Ester pulled away and met his eyes, a bright smile on her face. "I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off of my soul. Thank you! Praise Dromoka!"

Mirza coughed to hide his perplexity at human emotions. "Ahem, yes, Praise Dromoka. Now, in recognition of the tough position we put you in, we are going to give you the choice whether to continue on your remaining assignment. I understand completely if you don't feel up to it. We'll still promote you either way."

Ester looked up quizzically at Mirza. "Huh, oh yes. Oh! Yes, that shouldn't be a problem. I'll get right to it. As Dromoka wills it, so shall it be." She reached out and clasped his shoulders again, and Mirza was too surprised to tell her that she was being overly familiar. She let him go, and darted towards the door, before spinning on the spot, bowing abruptly. "Thank you," she said again, and then was out the door.

Mirza finally let out a mirthful expression. "Ah, youth."

* * *

"Well, are you decent?"

Javed groaned. He sat on the edge of the bed, hunched in dejected thought. He didn't react as Anafenza stepped through the wall.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Anafenza asked, trying to imply that she hadn't been aware of what had been going on in the room.

"Not anymore," Javed sighed.

Anafenza eyed Javed over his dejected tone. "…" She didn't really know what to say. Part of her wanted to brush it off and focus on more important matters. But deep down she knew that this situation required some tact. "How are you feeling?" It wasn't really a fix, but hopefully he might give her a clue as to how to proceed.

Javed sighed again. He mumbled something under his breath.

"What? I didn't hear you," Anafenza said.

"Why do I always fuck everything up?" he sighed. Anafenza froze. She had thought he would be mad or sad that the girl (whose name Anafenza had made a point never to learn) had caused a fuss and run off. What was he referring to?

Javed sniffed. "I just wanted…to be good enough. For her. For my clan. For Dromoka. For you." Anafenza listened in awkward silence. "But I'm not. I'm not good enough. For anyone. For anything. I killed my scalelord. I repulse Ester! I'm a traitor to my clan and I can't even do that right!" As his voice rose, Anafenza shushed him. She had made sure that there were no potential eavesdroppers around when she had appeared, but force of habit reared its head.

Javed turned to face her, and Anafenza was shocked to see tears in his eyes. "Why did you pick me? What did you see in me? Was there really anything special? Or did you just find the first loser who would listen to you?"

Anafenza didn't know what to say. There was so much wrong with what he was saying. But she knew that just saying he was wrong wasn't an answer. He needed to hear something nice. Something uplifting. "Javed…" The fact was-

"Javed!" Both of them were stunned to hear Ester's voice, coming from the front room. Anafenza quickly slipped through the wall as Ester entered the room. She pulled up just as she entered the room, gazing at Javed. Javed turned in his seat, gawking at her reappearance. There was a wide smile on her face.

She walked over to where he sat, while he rose to his feet. She continued well into his personal space, almost nose to nose, if she weren't a few inches shorter than him. There was a moment of discomfort, almost like pushing through a bubble's membrane, that soon passed. They stood in silence for a moment. This close, they could feel each other's breathing.

"Ester…" Javed began. Ester put her hand on his mouth.

"Please wait," she said. "I know I've been acting strange. And you've borne the brunt of it, Javed. You didn't deserve it."

Javed opened his mouth again.

"Wait," Ester insisted. "Javed, what you don't know…I'm so sorry for this." Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized what she was confessing to. Javed gazed at her, taken off guard, and yet it didn't matter. He wanted to make her happy. He raised his finger and caught some of her tears as they trailed down her face.

Ester accepted his touch, and met his eyes again. "Javed, I was asked to watch you." Javed nodded, not comprehending. "By Mirza, on order from Dragonlord Dromoka," Ester continued. Javed flinched.

Ester stepped back. "I know. I know how you must feel." Javed hadn't moved since her revelation. "They were suspicious of you after…after what happened in the battle…with Katar." She took a deep breath. "They gave me the breeding assignment to be close to you in order to spy on you." She closed her eyes and waited for Javed's righteous anger at her duplicity

Javed tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, but he couldn't. Fear gripped him in its iron grasp. He barely noticed Ester anymore. He had thought he had been in the clear, but now he realized how close to ruin he had been all this time! And all because of Anafenza! She was going to get him killed!

"Wait a minute," Javed suddenly thought of something. "Why are you telling me this?" He gasped. "Are they coming for me?!" Javed could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, and the primal desire to just run away, but he forced himself to abide.

Ester looked at him and giggled. "No, silly man. I've come to tell you that you been fully cleared. The investigation revealed nothing to condemn you. I know it must feel bad knowing this, but you have come out clean on the other side." She smiled, then her eyelids lowered. "What's more…we're still technically on a breeding assignment together…"

Javed eyes widened and he stared at her. A whirlwind of thoughts and emotions swirled through him. He had been cleared, but in truth, he was exactly what they had suspected. A traitor. Traitor in thought, and potentially soon, a traitor in deed. If she could know the truth, what would she say? He couldn't fool himself to think that she would accept him then.

Yet he did yearn for her. Base impulses combined with his admiration and longing for her. Could he justify this? Outside of clan loyalty, was this something he was capable of? To keep the lie, and take advantage of her, his friend?

Ester bit her lip, her eyes trailing down his body and back up. "Javed…" she whined sensually. Javed's second to last thought was that he had never seen Ester act like this before. He rushed to her, and as they fell to the bed, the part of his brain that still cared ran this thought through like a mantra, 'I'll make it up to her. I'll become worthy of her. I'll become what she deserves.'

* * *

Later, as they lay in each others' arms, Javed reflected on what had happened. He had always felt a sense of comradeship with his clan members. He had thought that there was no stronger feeling than that of clan unity. But this…this was different. He felt a rush of different feelings. Desire, possessiveness, insecurity, fear. It frightening and powerful, and yet, he didn't want it to end. If anything, he wanted to make sure that he could always be with Ester.

Yet the very thing that had brought him and Ester together would soon be separating them again. This was a dream, soon to end. And there was no guarantee that they would be like this again. Even the thought that someone else might know his Ester-

He had to stop that line of thinking as a wave of anger caused him to flinch. Ester started in her sleep, and he held his breath, wondering if he had woken her. Then she mumbled blearily and continued her steady, restful slumber.

Javed sighed out the breath he had been holding. _Be in the moment,_ he reminded himself. _Enjoy this moment._ Then he heard a voice in his head.

 _Javed, you've been called,_ he heard Anafenza voice drone in a monotone. _You need to head out first thing in the morning. We'll set up an excuse for you, and you'll finally be initiated._

 _Tomorrow? But- Ester,_ Javed thought.

 _So what?_ Anafenza spat into his mind. He could feel the emotion coming off of her words, though her essence remained distant and unreadable. _I was wondering if some open legs would cause you to doubt our mission!_

Javed was shocked by the vitriol in her words. He couldn't think of a way to respond.

 _Be ready to leave tomorrow,_ she dictated. _This is your only chance._ Then any trace of her was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Sunlight had just begun to peek through the window when Ester awoke, sensing the absence of the warmth that had been by her side all night. Javed was getting dressed, and the bed felt empty without him. “Javed? Where are you going this early?”

He flinched when she spoke. “I need to get my orders. I’ll be back before you have to get up.” Ester hesitated, then nodded. Javed kept stealing glances at her, in a way that made her reflexively want to cover up. Then she remembered that she didn’t have to, feeling emboldened as she let the sheets fall to her waist. She relished the reaction on Javed’s face. 

Part of her wanted to see if she could make him stay.  But she sighed, knowing that she couldn’t, in good conscience, interfere with his duty. “Go, Javed,” she said, giving him a level smile. “I’ll be here when you return.”

Javed paused for a moment, then swiftly approached her side. Ester started, thinking that he was actually coming back to bed. He dipped to one knee, and pulled her in for a soft, passionate kiss. Ester’s thoughts flew away, and she leaned into him, clutching at him, wanting more. But Javed backed away, and caught her eye. She could see into him, his desire for her, and more. Clan, comradery, lust, apprehension. The same things she felt for him. Then Javed left, and the moment was over.

The Dromoka sought closeness among all members of the clan, but this was a level of intimacy Ester had never known before. At times, she and Javed were almost one soul. Nothing in her experience could have prepared her for this. And she didn’t want to give it up…or share it.

Ester winced at the thought. There it was. That selfishness. She had been warned about that. It was just another trial to overcome. It was why not everyone was chosen for this assignment. Only the most exceptional, the most loyal of servants were entrusted this way. Because selfish desires would rear their head and try to pull one off the path of duty, of clan.

She shook her head. _Just let those feelings pass. They are common, but I can’t allow sentiment to cloud duty_. She remembered the other female soldiers who had given her advice on her assignment. A female soldier on breeding assignment bore much more responsibility than her male counterparts, so most exceptional female soldiers were assigned this duty later in life, but before such an assignment would be unfeasible. This also allowed a soldier more opportunity to prove herself worthy to breed. The clan didn’t want to spread inferior blood after all.

But there were instances of younger soldiers, like herself, being assigned. Sometimes they only did it once, before focusing on their other clan duties for the rest of their life. Or they might be assigned again and again, if their temperament and health suited the calling and they were approved. But attachment was a danger, so they were always assigned with a different partner. The others told her it got easier. What never got easier, they said, was giving up the child. Some had gotten emotional, but they all praised Dromoka and the clan, and somehow got through it. The children were taken to other aeries, and the women who bore them were left to wonder about their fate. But that was life.

Ester could remember her childhood, being raised with other humans, ainok, and aven. They had all been treated the same by their caretakers, some of whom were also breeders whose children had been taken away. Ester wondered if she missed her birth parents. She couldn’t find any sentiment like that. She had never really thought about them until now.

Ester had never really thought this much about the process of breeding before. It had never mattered. While young, the children were taught about sex, and its role in procreation. They were also taught that unassigned pregnancies were a drain on clan resources, and an act of pure selfishness. Those were punished, at least by the death of the mother and child, and the father and any who helped cover it up if they were known. In addition, their coed training kept them busy enough. There had been a few _incidents_ that she could remember, but they had been made public examples. Most youth imbibed the teachings, either through idealism, or fear of punishment. Some indulged in interspecies relations, as those could not result in pregnancy. Ester had never done it, but she knew comrades who had. It wasn’t a clean fix, but it was something.

Ester let her mind wander. It was still early. She had training at 8:00, but she didn’t have to attend early morning workout. Then she heard someone enter their dwelling, and Javed’s voice called out, “Ester?” She pulled the sheets over her chest in case someone else was with him. He entered their room, wearing his chest plate, more out of formality than need. She smiled, expecting him to come close and sit on the bed, but he hesitated. Her smile faded.

“Javed?” she asked.

“Ester, I’ve been assigned a special mission before I begin my Foremost training. I must travel to the aerie of Raz, starting this morning.” He spoke slow and haltingly, peeking out from downcast eyes.

“What? But we still have a week left in our assignment!” Ester protested. It didn’t make sense that their schedule would conflict so.

Javed sat down next to her, shaking his head in empathy. “I know, I’m sorry. They didn’t consult me either.” They sat in expectant silence for a moment, before Ester perked up.

“I’ll just ask my officer for the time off to accompany you!” Javed eyes widened and his gaze darted to her face. Ester smiled. It was an easy enough solution. Ester was already to be put on leave from active duty, so she would definitely be able to get the time off to finish her breeding assignment. It would be easier than rescheduling her future assignments.

Javed blinked, and then shuddered. Ester was surprised. He looked pale and sick. “Are you ok, Javed? You don’t look well.”

Javed smiled, and then he looked like himself again. “I’m fine, Ester. I’m just glad that we don’t have to be separated.” He trailed his hand softly over her thigh. Ester focused on her breathing. This would probably be the last stretch of time she would be able to spend with him, with all of their duties. And though it might be just an assignment, she wanted to be able to remember him.

Yet there was something niggling at her mind. She remembered Mirza, the vulture aven, exonerating Javed from any wrongdoing. But Javed _had_ been acting weird, both last night and this morning. As she thought about it, she could pick out moments where Javed had appeared nervous or distant. _It’s nerves_ , she told herself. He was soon to ship out and begin his training as part of the Foremost. Everything was going to change. And she had not exactly been welcoming for most of their joint assignment. It all made sense, except something still felt off.

Ester trailed her hand along Javed’s arm. She wanted to be there for him. She wanted to comfort him, in any way she could. She wanted to remember him after he was gone. And, at least in a little part of her mind, she wanted to clear his name. Or perhaps it was to clear her conscience.

***

_It was a three day's hike to Raz. Both of them were physically robust, so they made good time. At night, they camped, in a canvas tent designed to keep out the desert sands. And when they rested, they could not resist the opportunity to explore each other, to be close. The physical affected the mental and emotional, and the mental and emotional fed back into the physical. They steadily grew closer._

***

Arriving in Raz, they met with the local trainer, a gruff hound ainok, who checked Javed’s papers and pointed them to the local couple’s quarters. A runner led them to an unoccupied dwelling, and they settled in.

Javed took in their new surroundings. It was new to them, but shared the same sparse sensibilities that all Dromoka dwellings did. Ostentation was not needed, and therefore not desired. He turned to Ester, who was likewise appraising the dwelling. She noticed his gaze and quirked an eyebrow. Javed blushed, but met her look.

Their trip had continued what their first night together had started. He felt selfish at first, but her touch was ready and eager to meet his whenever he reached for her. In a life of duty and discipline, the lowering of boundaries was welcome. They had explored each other together, and their friendship and comradery only deepened. At those times, Javed could see the trust in her eyes, and feel how close they both wanted to be.

In those moments, he pushed his fears and doubts aside. He was just…alive. Present, in that moment. During the day, he tried to maintain that focus. Because if he allowed himself to take that step back, and look at what he was doing, he would have a nervous breakdown.

Ester wasn’t supposed to be here. He had wanted to leave her behind, not for himself, but for her sake. She didn’t need to be involved. Well, honestly, it was self-preservation to an extent. After she had told him about the Clan’s investigation, he had almost run out of the room screaming. And though he was ostensibly cleared, and he usually would have no reason to question that, he also usually would have no reason to question that his comrade on a breeding assignment was also a spy assigned to watch him. But there had been no way to leave her behind without arousing suspicion, and thereby inviting a deeper level of inquiry than he felt comfortable withstanding.

It would have been too much to deal with, but other considerations were holding sway. Looking back, he could see Ester’s reticence in a new light. He actually felt sympathy for her. She had been put in a hard position, and he hadn’t known. But with that explained, he could see why she had been acting strange. Since then, it had been just like old times. Except, not at all, but Ester wasn’t acting strange anymore. She was completely open, in a way that sometimes scared him. 

Javed wanted her, craved all of her, but he feared that he would be required to pay some price. Even though he was continuing on his course, he was torn between two lives, and that stress transferred to his feelings for Ester. Which stress melted away when they came together at night, and that then fed back into his feelings of guilt. Just because Javed could identify the problem, didn’t mean he felt capable of addressing it.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Ester approached, idly wrapping her arms around him, holding on lightly. Javed marveled for a moment at the wonder of this intimacy. He wanted to protect this moment. He wanted this to be his duty. This moment, this feeling, this…woman.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. “I’m just thinking about what I’ve got to do here,” he replied.

Ester smiled comfortingly. “You’ll do great, Javed. I know you can do it.” Javed returned her smile. Even though he was keeping things from her, he cherished her support. It felt like the only real thing in his life right now, and even that could be taken away from him.

***

Later that night, they lay in bed, entangled with each other and breathing softly. Javed focused on keeping his breathing as natural as possible. Ester was quiet, her breathing steady. Javed felt the hairs on his body stand up, as he tried to sense whether she was asleep. He waited, lying still, trying to measure an appropriate amount of time.

Finally, Javed decided to make his move. He would need time to get to the meeting place, hear whatever Anafenza and her group had to share, and still make it back before the sun rose. First, how to get untangled from Ester?

He decided to embrace her tighter, and use the hug to roll her over onto her side of the bed. He purposely overolled a bit, allowing him to extricate his arm that had been under her. He paused a moment, then softly rolled back to his side. Lying still for a moment, his ears strained for any change. The night was so quiet that even barely audible noises felt loud.

Ester’s snores didn’t vary, and she stayed on her side. Javed cheered internally. Stage 1 complete. He gently removed the blanket from his body. Then, gradually, imperceptibly, he shifted his weight. He went by feel, balancing between being slow and methodical, and also trying to move as quickly as possible. This was the vulnerable time. If he could get off the bed and get out of the building, then things would get easier.

He rolled over, letting his knees touch the floor. He still had his upper body weight on the bed, and gently eased that pressure off, watching intently for any notice from Ester. Finally, he was completely off the bed. Ester didn’t move. He lowered himself to the floor, and crawled out of the room. He had left his breastplate and sword in the front room earlier, so that he could take them without disturbing Ester.

In the front room, he ignored the door, and clambered out the open window, after checking for witnesses. It was deep night, the stars and moon bright, lighting up the ground. Everything felt surreal. Javed could imagine he was stepping into a dream.

In the street, he glanced around. He still didn’t know where the meeting place was, though he had been shown the location by Anafenza. He didn’t want to be out in the open like this, but he had to wait for her to guide him.

 _Hey_.

Javed stifled a yell. He glared at Anafenza, who had approached from behind. She returned the glare, holding a finger to her lips, before breaking into an apologetic smile. _Sorry_ , she thought into his mind. Javed sighed, trying to will his heart rate back to normal. He motioned for her to lead out. Anafenza led him through the aerie, guiding him down empty streets en route to their destination.

Eventually, they approached the aerie wall. Javed glanced at Anafenza questioningly, and she held up her hand for him to wait. Anafenza furrowed her brow in concentration, and then her eyes began to glow. The sand around him began to stir, then a sudden gust of sand blew him off his feet. He felt the solid earth fall away from him, saw the wall passing underneath him. His upward momentum slowed, and after a moment of agonizing weightlessness, he began to fall.

Javed didn’t even have time to feel afraid. He was just beginning to accept that he was going to hit the ground, hard, when he stopped. Another gust of sand slowed his descent, and Anafenza was right there, almost as if she had caught him. He was back on solid ground again.

“Thanks,” he managed to get out, still dazed by what had happened.

“No problem,” Anafenza smiled. She was a lot more agreeable tonight than she had been the last time they spoke. Javed didn’t know what had changed, but he was grateful. The only reason he was even here was because Anafenza had been gently guiding him. He hoped that was the truth, and there wasn’t a crueler reality.

“Oh, Javed, you’re bleeding!” Anafenza remarked. Javed looked down, and indeed, the sudden sand bursts had scraped his legs. “Sorry about that,” she apologized, and knelt down in front of him. He could have used sun magic to heal himself, but Anafenza had already started. A subtle glow appeared, and she began running her fingers along his skin. Though he could see her touching him, expecting to feel her, there was no physical sensation. But he did feel her presence, her feelings and thoughts. She was sorry, sorry for a lot of things, sorry for being rude before. Appreciation, for his efforts, his sacrifice, his trust. Anafenza looked up at him, and her eyes pierced his.

In that moment, Javed felt a surge of guilt. He wanted to be there for her, be what she wanted him to be. But he also wanted to be there for Ester, and be what she needed from him. Was that even possible? Was he fooling himself, or was this the only way? After his assignment with Ester, he might never see her again, duty to clan pulling them in separate directions. And if he turned back now, there was no guarantee that Anafenza would have any reason to work with him again, even if she didn’t silence him.

This was the only way. He needed to follow Anafenza, hear her people out, and judge for himself. Javed swore that he would do what he thought right, even if it killed him. In the end, that was all he could do.

“There, all done,” Anafenza said, floating back up to a little above eye level. “Come on, we’re almost there.” She motioned into the desert. Javed started walking.

As he did, Anafenza floated closer, mingling right at the edges of him. He could feel her giggling. This was strange. Anafenza was being unusually chipper.

 _I knew you would do the right thing_ , Javed, she thought. _Even though you are torn, you need to know the truth. That’s what’s so good about you. I know when you hear what we have to share, you will see the purpose of our struggle._

Javed started. Of course! While she had been healing him, she had been able to feel his thoughts as well!

She laughed again. _Simple, pure Javed. What a thing to forget! But it just proves what I…admire about you. I’m glad it was you_. He couldn’t see her, as she was hovering over his back, but he could sense that she was shy about that last part.

She continued. _I know it must have been difficult to leave that warm bed_ , and Javed saw an image of himself and Ester lying in each other’s arms. He felt a sudden shock.

“Were you watching us?” he marveled.

“Of course!” Anafenza exclaimed, a bit defensively. “I was always watching, to make sure that you didn’t give us away,” she explained. That made a little sense, but Javed still wasn’t sure how to feel about it. She continued. “I must admit, it was…fascinating.” Javed’s eyes widened. “Javed, I’m a spirit! I can’t interact the way you two can. I never will.”

Javed felt all of the shock and offense drain out of him. Anafenza continued. “Though spirits can use magic and interact in limited ways, we are very aware of how we differ from the living. There are things we can do that you can’t, and there are things you can do, that we can’t.”

Javed considered this. “Did you ever…?” he trailed off, though he couldn’t stop a quick image of Anafenza in a certain state.

Anafenza laughed sadly. “What do you think, Javed? I was a Foremost, my duty was there. I couldn’t take time off to bear a child, so there was no need for me to be assigned. Maybe if I had lived to active retirement…” and Javed felt her go silent.

Javed didn’t know what to say. _I’m sorry_ , he thought lamely.

There was a brief stillness. _I know_. Anafenza sent a light surge of feeling through him, so that he could sense her status. He walked on in companionable silence, with her tagging along on his back.

Then she floated ahead, and Javed couldn’t read her anymore. “We’re almost there,” she informed him. They had approached one of several larger oasis in this area. It was isolated in the Southwestern corner of Dromoka territory. Anafenza motioned him to continue into the trees.

“How do you keep this place hidden?” Javed asked.

“Very carefully,” she responded, winking. Javed groaned.

As they proceeded further into the grove, the light from the stars and moon were almost completely blocked out. In return, Anafenza began to glow, easily lighting their path. Javed was amazed by…everything about her. Spirit worship was forbidden, considered evil, but almost all of Javed’s experiences with Anafenza had been positive. He wondered, _What harm there could be in communing with those who have passed on?_

Then he saw another person. Javed’s eyes widened in surprise. As he took them in, Javed saw others. They noticed him, but kept to their tasks. Some were watering the trees. Others were digging large holes, with large long bundles nearby. Some were scratching words onto the trunks of the trees. Javed’s brain tried to take in all this new information, but he couldn’t fit it together in context.

 _They’re burying our dead_ , Anafenza thought into his mind. _We give our bodies to the trees as sustenance, and our spirits go into the tree and live on_. Javed reflected on that as they passed the others working.

Then Javed saw a spirit. At first he thought it was Anafenza, but she was floating nearby. He did a double take and noticed that there were other spirits floating around, both male and female, with aven and ainok as well as human. He drew closer to Anafenza. Though his experience with her had been comforting and positive, he still felt uncomfortable around these new spirits. For their part, those he passed would give him and Anafenza a glance, and then move on.

Anafenza seemed to notice his discomfort, and floated back to his side, mingling over his shoulder. This attracted more attention from those around them, but Javed could sense it was different. More open, welcoming.

“Anafenza?” he began.

“They can tell you’re trusted. It will put them at ease.” _And you as well_. She sent another wave of reassurance.

As they continued through the grove, Javed began to see more and more spirits. The trees had carvings on them, carvings of names. Buckets were set up around some, collecting sap. The air felt heavy, and he could hear a multitude of whispers that he couldn’t quite understand.

Finally, Anafenza sent him an impulse to stop. _We’re here_.

Javed look around him. The trees here were towering and wide. Their trunks bore many names. Some names were different than the others, in a dialect that was unfamiliar to him. A fog fell over his mind. This place felt ancient. It felt alive. And it felt…oppressive.

“Is this the one, Anafenza?” Javed heard a voice, coming from all around, but he could not see its source. He steadied himself, preparing for a spirit to appear.

“Yes, ancestor, he is the descendant of Daghatar,” Anafenza replied. Javed cast his eyes toward her at that, but she had moved behind him, presenting him to this unseen audience. Daghatar? He had never heard that name, though by context he could tell it was going to mean something here.

“Well done, daughter of the Abzan. This is a big step towards redeeming yourself from your failures.” Javed bristled at that. Failures, redemption, what? He wanted to ask Anafenza what this meant, but he felt that he wasn’t free to speak at this point. “We will leave it to you to continue to guide him as he realizes his destiny.”

“Yes, ancestor,” Anafenza replied, and there wasn’t a hint of ego in her voice. Javed could hear the submission and devotion. More than anything, he wanted to look at her, and take stock. He wanted to share feelings like they had been up to this point. But he was on his own right now.

“And you, Javed of the Dromoka, Descendant of Daghatar, what have you to say?”

Javed hesitated, a jumble of thoughts running through his mind. “I don’t…understand.”

The voice let out a sound of annoyance. “Anafenza, what have you been teaching this boy?”

“He knows,” Anafenza replied, humbly as she had been since this conversation started, “but he doesn’t _know_ , not yet.”

“Hmph,” the voice said, and then several spirits glowed to life in a semicircle in front of him. Javed started. He had not expected more than the voice speaking. There were several humans, aven, ainok, and even an…orc? The shock troopers of the Kolaghan? Javed’s head whirled.

“Are you in awe, boy?” the foremost human spirit, a warrior woman, asked. “Understandable. We are your ancestors, from the time of the fall of Abzan. We have existed for as long as those usurper dragons that pretend to rule this land.”

Javed gaped. Could that be true? Spirits that could remember a time before the dragonlords, over 1000 years ago? This was what he had come for. To find the truth. To see for himself. Just meeting Anafenza had awoken things in him that he could not deny. And being with Ester, knowing that things could be different, that he could have her by his side, not at the whim of a dragon. He had to know. Now, more than ever, he was stranded between two lives. The one he had known all his life, the one that had given him Ester, and his dragonlord and the scalelords. Everything he knew, every good thing, had been found in the Dromoka, in this life.

But Anafenza had opened his eyes, opened his heart, and he couldn’t close them again. Javed carried with him the upbringing of the Dromoka, but he couldn’t deny _this_. He needed to know. What she had taught him rang true, felt right. And he _wanted_ to believe. But he needed more, in order to make his decision. He didn’t want to think beyond that. He was comfortable with this being where he died, if he needed to defy this group. Even Anafenza. It was harder to think what would be required if he joined them officially tonight.

“Yes, I see you understand,” the spirit continued. “My name is Reyhan. I was the last khan of the Abzan, before we were subjugated beneath the draconic oppressors.”

“You know what happened, back then?” Javed couldn’t help asking.

“Yes,” Reyhan replied. “I saw the arrival of the dragons, from the dragon storms. I saw the fool Daghatar bow the knee to them. I took up his mantle and led the loyal remnants, after he cravenly abandoned them. And I died when the last alliance of Khans was betrayed by that traitorous coward, Tasigur.” She spat. “Fortunately, he got his reward. He yet hangs, dried and preserved, from the Dragonlord Silumgar’s neck.” Pleased with recounting that fact, she continued. “My body was brought back to Abzan lands and buried here in secret. It was thanks to that I was able to continue in service to my clan, even after my death.”

Javed took this in, and bowed his head. “I am honored to hear your story. Your life and death honor both you and the Abzan.”

Reyhan eyed him, and nodded approvingly. “It seems that fortune has favored us. After Anafenza fell, I wasn’t sure that we could find a suitable candidate, who could also fulfil the prophesy.”

Javed hesitated. “I apologize, but that is what I still don’t understand. I have no knowledge of any prophesy, or how it could involve me.” Or Anafenza, he thought.

“Hmm, yes,” Reyhan began. “It is indeed time for you to be instructed in our cause…our hope.” She paused, letting the silence stretch. “As you know, we are the ones, the few, who have kept alive the old ways. Remembering the tenets of our ancestors, our blood. Though Dromoka tried to wipe out our beliefs, blood is thicker than water. The Dragons use fear and violence to cow our people. Loyalty can only be assured through familial bonds, which the dragons have destroyed.”

Reyhan gave Javed a meaningful look, and he wondered how much she knew of his struggles, his desire, for Ester. But he put it out of his mind. She didn’t appear to know much of his life. Maybe the desire for blood relations was more universal than he thought. 

“For now, we exist in hiding,” Reyhan continued, “but we have reason to hope. A prophecy has been handed down from generation to generation. It is to this prophecy that we direct our hope. ‘For as by Daghatar did the Abzan fall, so by Daghatar will the Abzan live again.’” She paused again to allow Javed to reflect on that. “Daghatar was the fool who surrendered the Abzan to the decrees of the Dromoka. Because of him, our people would not fight. Only a few defied him and followed me. If we had continued fighting, we might have had something. But alas, things happen for a reason.”

Reyhan continued her speech. “The prophecy states that by Daghatar the Abzan will rise.” Reyhan scowled. “But he died over a thousand years ago. And though those who held to the old ways deigned to give him a proper burial, due to his betrayal of his people, his body was dug up and cast into the wastes, so that his spirit would not know rest.” Reyhan smiled cruelly. Javed got the impression that she may have had something to do with that.

“Even if he were here, the spirits of ancestors cannot initiate change in the world of the living. We are only allowed to counsel, support, and aid our living family. The prophecy must be fulfilled by a living soul.” Now she trained her eyes on Javed. “And that person, in this case, must be a descendant of Daghatar.”

Javed’s eyes widened. His jaw worked, trying to speak, yet he had nothing to say. “H-how do you know who I am descended from?”

Reyhan smiled in a way that Javed supposed was intended to convey warmth, but felt domineering. She floated towards him. She was arrayed in battle armor, even wearing a helmet, showing her focus as a warrior. Up until now, her words had been clipped and measured. But now, when she spoke, it was honeyed and sweet. “Though the mothers may forget their children, yet will I not forget.” She circled Javed, raising her hand to trail along his arm and shoulder. Javed was beginning to realize that spirits had a different concept of personal space. “Javed, we who linger in service to our clan, exist only to serve our descendants. We have no ulterior motive, other than making life as good as possible for our bloodlines.”

Though he could tell she was attempting to be nurturing, he almost felt oppressed by her close presence. Her will was apparent. She stopped, directly behind him, and he felt her touching his shoulders, holding him in place. His body tensed up. But a part of him wanted to relax, to let her guide him. Just let go, of self, of identity. Let her in…

A shudder ran through his whole body and he jumped forward a step. He whirled around, the hairs on his neck standing up, and saw Reyhan, who quirked an eyebrow at his sudden start. He quickly bowed his head, and even went to one knee. “I apologize, my revered…predecessor?” though he could not tell what he was apologizing for.

Reyhan fixed him with a calculating gaze, but she must have judged him harmless, because her expression changed to one of bored disinterest. “Very well, you now know the prophecy, and your place in it.” She floated back to stand at the head of the other spirits. They seemed content to let her lead this interview. In fact, a few in the back had their eyes closed and seemed to be…sleeping?

Javed rose to his feet and faced Reyhan. “But what are my duties? How is the prophecy to be fulfilled? What is our goal?”

Reyhan gave an embellished sigh. “So many questions. Anafenza will answer those for you. I assign her to be your sponsor and guide. She found you, and has helped you get to this point, and she will continue to do so.” Her expression of feigned disinterest fell, and was replaced what Javed was coming to see as her trademark shrewd look. For all her age, and experience, she was fairly blunt and easy to read. Javed didn’t know how to feel about that.

Reyhan smiled again, this time in parting. “We are glad to have met you, Javed,” she said, gesturing to the other spirits. “We believe that you will fulfill the prophecy, and bring the Abzan back to their rightful place. We have agents in each aerie, who will be able to give you assistance as needed. And finally-“ here her smile fled and her gaze turned cold, “remember that we will always have our eyes upon you,” and she gestured past him. He turned and saw Anafenza, who looked down, but glanced up to catch his gaze. He had trouble reading her expression, but he knew the score. She may not want to do it. Hell, he knew she wouldn’t. But he also knew that she _absolutely_ would stop him from revealing the secrets of the Abzan. Far from disturbing him, it reassured him. If they didn’t believe that much, then he couldn’t have been expected to either.

Javed bowed. “Is that all?” he asked, preparing to take his leave.

Reyhan smirked. “Not all. Anafenza, come.” Javed turned and watched Anafenza float up to him, her gaze brushing across his, studious intent and questioning for him in her eyes. He smiled confidently. He knew she was worried about how he was taking this. The distance between them was hard to deal with after being so close, so he wanted to make sure he expressed something she could read.

Anafenza gestured him to follow, and moved towards Reyhan, who floated aside to let them past. Anafenza went right up to the large tree that the spirits had been gathered around. Among its roots, Javed could see mounds that represented graves. He could see ancient names carved into the bark. Anafenza brushed his arm and pointed to a pruning knife that lay on the dirt. He picked it up and looked to Anafenza questioningly. She then pointed to a wooden bowl on the ground. He quickly picked it up. Javed felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Was this a test? He had no idea what to do here.

Anafenza whispered into his ear, “Pierce the tree, allowing its blood to flow forth. Catch the blood in the bowl, that it does not touch the ground.” Javed understood now, but still felt the pressure. He could feel the eyes of everyone on his back. The warm desert air, in this grove, was heavy with humidity. Javed’s tunic was soaked in sweat. He raised the blade, pressing it against the bark. His brow furrowed, and his muscle tensed as he forced the metal into the wood.

Javed was amazed to see sap begin to flow out of the cut like blood from a wound. It came in spurts, as if responding to some unseen heartbeat. He quickly raised the bowl to catch the sap. Javed wondered if it would continue to pour and overflow, but the sap clotted as he was thinking about it. A male aven approached, face impassive, carrying a jar with a ladle in it. Javed looked into it, trying to ascertain its contents.

“Water,” Anafenza whispered. “Pour in the sap.”

Javed glanced at her, then tilted the bowl into the jar, the sap slowly flowing out. Once he did, the aven held the jar out to him and took the bowl in turn, retreating to the edges of the clearing. Javed looked at the jar in his hands. Water and tree sap, huh?

“Stir the sap into the water,” Anafenza prompted. Javed took the ladle and stirred the contents. He lifted the ladle out, trying to see what it looked like. But the low level of moonlight that filtered through the trees didn’t allow him to discern finer details. This drink could be poison for all he knew. And yet, he knew what was coming next.

He turned to look at Anafenza, expectantly. She was staring at him, into him. Javed was pierced by her, and though they were not in contact, he could feel her energy moving around him. The atmosphere had changed suddenly. He wanted to look around, to see how the others were reacting, but he couldn’t. He felt, rather than sensed, that to break her gaze, to break this moment, would be momentous. The anticipation was similar to what he had felt with Reyhan earlier. But while his experience with Reyhan had felt overbearing, he trusted Anafenza. Even if there was still much he did not know (and that did make him uneasy), he _knew_ her. If he had to bet his life on that, he would.

“Now…drink.”

Javed lifted a ladle full of the concoction, and as he did, Anafenza’s impassive mask began to slip. Her lips parted as she watched Javed lift it to his. Her eyes darted, from his gaze, to the ladle, to his mouth. Javed, for his part, kept his eyes on her, watching her, memorizing her. Her composure slipped more and more as he brought the ladle to his lips, replaced by an ecstatic anticipation. He paused for a moment, watching her, and then drank deep.

Javed immediately coughed as the drink burned down his throat. It was bitter! The most bitter thing he had ever tasted! He swallowed it quickly, then gagged. The ladle and jar fell from his grasp, and the thought crossed his mind that he’d been poisoned. He looked at Anafenza, and she was smiling. He wondered what he should be feeling right now, when his brain began to sputter. He felt his equilibrium go haywire, and when he tried to correct, he went too far and slammed to the ground. There was no pain, and Javed barely felt the impact. As the world began to fade out around him, the last thing he heard was Anafenza’s voice.

“Don’t be afraid, Javed. I am with you.” He felt her project her calming essence, and his vision cleared just long enough to see her kneeling over him, reaching out for him. Then everything went dark.

***

Through closed eyes, Javed felt heat and light emerge upon him. His eyelids fluttered, squinting against the…sun? It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, and then he could see the whole of Arashin spread out hundreds of feet beneath him. Beneath him?

“Aaaggh!” Javed screamed, and flailed, trying to find something to hold onto.

“Javed!” He heard someone call his name, and started whipping his head around, desperately looking for help. Wait, someone was there, floating a few feet away. He looked again, and recognized Anafenza. His flailing slowed, though his heart was still pounding in his chest.

“Anafenza! What?! How?!” Javed’s brain still couldn’t piece many words together.

Anafenza tried to hold in her laughter, but failed. “Javed, focus on me!” She floated closer. Javed reached out for her instinctively, but his hands passed through hers. That brought Javed up short, and he remembered that he was dealing with the supernatural.

“Good, Javed, good,” Anafenza soothed. “We are in your spirit dream world. The essence of the sap is transmitting information to your memory.”

Javed quirked an eyebrow. He looked down at Arashin, and gestured to it with a sweep of his hand. “What do you mean? I know Arashin. I mean, I’ve never seen it from this angle, but that’s not-“

“Do you know Arashin?” Anafenza interrupted, smiling. She pointed at the city.

Javed sighed and looked again. Then he frowned. There was something wrong. The buildings were smaller, and some were missing. And he noticed that the roof openings in the Aeries were…missing. For that matter, there were no dragons in sight. Which was the most strange. In all his life, dragons had been a part of it. Whether among the people, or flying overhead, they were always around.

“What’s going on?” he mumbled, more to himself than to his companion. But Anafenza heard him.

“You were half right. We are in Arashin.” Javed looked at her quizzically. “But the Arashin of a thousand years ago. Before the dragons came.”

Javed gaped at her. “What? How is that possible?”

Anafenza smiled. “Through our rituals. When we bury our dead among the groves, not only do their spirits gain the power to linger on, but their memories and power can be transmitted to the sap that flows through the trees. We drink the distilled sap to draw upon the wisdom and power of our ancestors. There are other uses as well. In your case, the sap will help you to see what we have, until now, only talked about.”

Javed marveled at the intricacies of the Abzan spirituality. It was magic. It was amazing. And it wasn’t evil. Dromoka was wrong about this. And if she could be wrong about spirits and ancestor worship, what else could she be wrong about? His mind flashed to Ester, and their tenuous arrangement. Such intimacy, such depth of emotion. Should it really be subject to the whims of the scalelords?

“Come, Javed,” Anafenza said. “We still have much to see.” Rather than moving from their spot, the world whirled around them and changed. Now they were in the city itself. Javed could see the people going about their lives. It was similar to what he was used to. Many soldiers, but also normal people going about their lives. Humans, Aven, Ainok, and Orcs.

Javed turned to Anafenza. “What does this mean?” he asked, waving towards an Orc guard.

“The Abzan practiced ‘Krumar’. In battle, when they would slay their enemies, often there would be orphans left of their children. Rather than leave them to die, they would be taken in to be raised as foot soldiers, as Krumar. By law they were to be treated as Bond-kin, almost family, and many ended up being adopted into the families they served. The orcs you see are krumar, although humans, aven, ainok, and other species could be Krumar as well.”

Javed watched the orc as it saluted a passing company. He felt surreal. In the real world, the orcs served the Dragonlord Kolaghan, and they were bloodthirsty ragers. He felt a twinge of sympathy. If only the orcs could be krumar, they could be saved from their awful fates.

“Look, over here,” Anafenza said, motioning him over. They stood together, looking upon a market place. People shopped and traded below them, as they floated above the scene. In the center of the square, there stood an Abzan ancestor tree, down to the names carved into the trunk. Four soldiers stood guard around it, but even small children were allowed to go up and look at the names on the tree.

“These “kin trees” were a central part of life for the Abzan,” Anafenza said. “Family was the heart of Abzan society. Whether by blood, oath, or krumar.” She turned and looked at him. “To be ritually disowned was one of the greatest punishments imaginable.”

Javed breathed in deep, trying to memorize…this, all of this. This life, this world. It was so different, so similar, and yet it felt right. It felt good.

Anafenza sighed. “Even though I am a spirit, I am from your time, Javed. This world is foreign to me as well. But this was our heritage, and it was destroyed. And the memory of it was almost lost to time. Due to the invaders!” As she spoke, the sky grew dark as multitudes of dragons appeared, attacking the City. Javed’s view zoomed out and he could see the long term conflict between the two sides continue and grow. The dragons possessed aerial superiority, massive strength, and their lethal breath weapons, but Javed was amazed to see the Abzan putting up a good fight.

The Ainok called upon the sand magic that Javed was familiar with, but since the dragons had taught humans the power of Sun Magic, there were no Sun Mages. Instead, they used spirit magic, to call upon ancestral spirits to attack and defend, and to strengthen and fortify the living warriors. They also possessed admirable teamwork, bringing down many dragons, even as the dragons laid waste to many brave warriors. The battle seemed to be even, though the toll was terrible on both sides.

But for every dragon that fell, more would take its place. Javed looked around, and reacting to his unasked question, the dream showed him their source. Swirling storms of magic, and from them, fully grown dragons flew forth! Javed’s eyes widened. He had never known how dragons reproduced. He had assumed that there was some sacred, secret nesting ground, but now he realized, he had never even seen an adolescent dragon before!

The onslaught of dragons wore away at the Abzan. For all of their bravery and passion, they were outnumbered. Javed looked away.

“What happened? How did it end?” Javed asked, remembering what Reyhan had told him earlier.

The scene changed again. Now they were in a cave, standing behind a man, dressed in the manner of the Abzan. He held a mace fashioned out of Amber, and Javed could hear the whispers of spirits emanating from it. Javed felt, rather than heard, the name “Daghatar”. So this was the Khan who had betrayed the Abzan.

Then Javed heard a sound rasp forth in draconic, and his eyes widened. He knew that voice. As he looked further into the cave, he could see her, the Dragonlord Dromoka, sitting and eying Daghatar. Javed couldn’t believe it. Though he had been told, he had never wrapped his head around the fact that she was over a thousand years old. Here she was, smaller than when Javed had seen her, but still towering above Daghatar, and even the other dragons of her brood. An aven translator stood by Dromoka.

Javed realized they were talking, and listened.

_“Why?” Daghatar asked. “Why are you destroying our people? What is our crime, that you slaughter us without question or reason?”_

_Dromoka adjusted her wings, and growled out in draconic. Javed could make out parts of it, but the aven translated. “The Great Dromoka says there is much to be admired about your people,” he said. “She admires your focus on clan, on family. She admires how you work together. She admires how you survive in this inhospitable land. But there is one thing you do, that she cannot overlook. That horrid sin of Necromancy!”_

_Daghatar stepped back at the outburst. Then he gathered himself. “What you call necromancy is our ancestor worship! We don’t desecrate the dead like the Sultai do! We honor our dead! They help us, their descendants!”_

_Dromoka let out a sharp breath, which echoed in the cave, then growled her response. “The Great Dromoka says that what is dead should remain dead! Playing with the forces of death is abhorrent Necromancy, and it will be punished. If your people continue to practice this abomination, the Great Dromoka and her brood will destroy you from this world, so that it can rest from your sin.”_

_Daghatar caught the “if” in that statement. “And if we do abandon our ancestor worship?”_

The aven waited for Dromoka to consider, and then respond. “Then you will be spared,saith the Great Dromoka” he replied. “She says she will take your people under her wings, bind up their wounds, and watch over your children.”

 _Daghatar paused in thought. Javed could hear the whispers in the amber mace Daghatar held getting louder._ Fool. You will not let this opportunity pass you by. You are not here under a banner of truce, and this beast has promised to kill us all. You will never get this close again. Raise me up. Strike your enemy down, now.

_Daghatar bowed his head, and Javed heard the words, “Forgive me.” Then Daghatar raised the mace high, slamming it down on the rocks and smashing it into pieces! The whispers raised into a wail, then faded away. Daghatar bowed the knee to the dragon._

Javed scowled. Even seeing what he had, seeing the enormity of the threat, he didn’t like this surrender. He could understand where Daghatar was coming from, as the leader responsible for his people, but he didn’t have to like it.

The scene changed again. He saw ten kin-trees appear, and then nine were uprooted, each replaced by a dragon’s scale. The last tree stood alone, surrounded. Images passed through his mind, of groves being cut down and burned, of families crying as they were forced to give up their way of life for survival. He saw Reyhan, last Khan of the Abzan, head north into Jeskai territory, for the purpose of forming an alliance of Khans. But she did not return. With that, the last tree fell, and the Abzan were no more. Except for those few who kept the traditions alive, in secret. If any were found, they were promptly executed. And yet, somehow, the traditions were kept alive, down through the years, for over a millennia.

The years flew past, moving too fast to discern. Finally it came to the present day. Once again, he and Anafenza were standing in the air above Arashin. In the current day, dragons owned the skies. It was all familiar, but it felt foreign now. Distant. He turned to Anafenza.

She spoke first. “So now you see the responsibility you bear. The weight of the ages, and all those lives, the ancient Abzan, and the Abzan that may be to come. That weight is on you.” She smiled bittersweetly. “I’m sorry to put all of this on you. I know it’s a lot to ask of anyone. But we are all here to help you. I will never abandon you, Javed.”

“I know, Ana,” Javed replied, affectionately. She blinked at that. “I welcome it.” His voice grew stronger. “I feel it, the weight of the ages, the prayers of my people, waiting for deliverance. If I can be the key, the relief that they seek, even if it cost me my life, I will not shrink.”

Anafenza glowed with joy, and sped to him, stopping only a few inches from his face. Neither one touched the other. Neither one needed to. Their thoughts and feelings were totally in sync. They could feel each other. “Thank you Javed. Thank you,” Anafenza whispered, her voice thick with emotion. Javed could feel the unspoken words, see them in her eyes. I love you.

Then the scene fell away, and Javed awoke with a start. He was lying on his back, staring up at the trees. He sat up, looking past the living helpers who had come to his aid, looking for her…there. Anafenza was floating just behind the two people who were waiting to help him to his feet. He smiled at her as he let himself be helped up. She returned the smile. Nothing else needed to be said.

***

It was still dark and quiet as they began their journey back to the aerie. Javed was coming down from his high in the grove. He had been given a skein full of the distilled tree sap, with the understanding that Anafenza would begin to train him in the use of Spirit Magic. He and Anafenza travelled in companionable silence. Javed was feeling more confident in his cause than ever, but he did have concerns. While he empathized with the plight of the Abzan, he didn’t want to destroy the Dromoka. While he desired the Abzan to return as a clan and a force, did that have to mean the fall of his old clan?

 _Probably_ , he thought glumly.

They reached the edge of the trees and continued onto the desert sands. Then Anafenza froze and stared into the distance. Javed caught her expression and followed her line of sight. He saw someone walking in their direction over the sands. As the figure crested the nearest dune, the moon illuminated them. The figure stopped and looked at Javed.

“Javed?”

Javed’s heart stopped. Cold sweat broke out over his face and neck, even running down his spine. He felt every muscle in his body seize up for an instant, and his breath was stolen from his lungs.

“Javed? What are you doing out here?” The voice was a mix of questioning, accusing, and pleading.

Javed’s brain wouldn’t function. One thought overrode all others. Fix this, fix this, fix this, FIX THIS! But he couldn’t. Couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, could do nothing except live his worst nightmare.

Ester stared back at him, her gaze switching between him and the spirit by his side. Realization dawned across her face. Javed wanted to wipe that realization away, rewind time, tell some amazing lie, do SOMETHING!

She was shaking her head. “No…Javed… Oh no…” She started to turn away and retreat. Then Anafenza moved between him and Ester.

“What?” Javed began, but then there was movement on either side. Two spirit warriors made for Ester. “NO!” he screamed. “Ester, Wait!”

She turned back, and there were tears in her eyes, pain on her face. Then she saw the spirits advancing towards her, and fear blossomed on her face. She pulled out her sword.

“Wait! I order you to wait! She’s with me!” Javed screamed. I can do this, he thought. I just need a moment. I can talk to her, kidnap her, whatever! She doesn’t need to die!

But the spirits didn’t slow down at all.

Ester took a combat stance, readying her scimitar. The fear had disappeared, replaced by a thousand yard stare. Her lips were pressed together, her brow furrowed. Javed’s senses became more sensitive as time slowed. He could even see a few droplets of sweat on her neck.

“ESTER! NOOO!” He heard the sound as if someone else had said it. He wondered if anyone could hear him, for all the heed they were giving him. But Ester heard him. He saw her eyes turn to his. And in that moment, he saw the slightest change in her expression. Her face relaxed the slightest bit, her eyebrows easing. And in her eyes, he saw the sadness. She knew.

The spirits slashed their spectral swords like the whip of a scorpion’s tail. Ester countered with a swipe that would have countered their attack and given her some breathing room. But their swords passed right through, not impeded at all.

“ESTER!!!” Javed felt a blood vessel burst in his eye as the swords cut through Ester. He instinctively flinched as if he were the one being cut down. There was no blood from her wounds.

He felt himself sprinting across the sand. Why?! Why couldn’t he stop this?! Why couldn’t he have been smart enough, strong enough, GOOD ENOUGH to stop this from happening?! He had killed her, as surely as if he had slipped his sword through her ribs while she slept.

He skidded to the ground as he came to her side, throwing himself across her still body. “Come on, come on!” he muttered. He gently gripped her face, searching for signs of life. She didn’t move. He tried to summon the mana to charge a healing spell, but it flickered and went out. “Damn it!”

“Javed.”

He ignored it. He forced down his grief and agony. His feelings didn’t matter now. He needed to be good enough! Ester was counting on him! He managed to focus enough to call the warming glow and channeled it into her body.

“Javed…”

It wasn’t working. Her body wasn’t taking the light, it wasn’t accepting the healing. He placed his ear on her mouth and nose, stilling his beating heart, to listen for anything. Nothing. Lower, over her chest. Nothing.

Her body was still warm in places, but it was cooling. The places where the swords had hit her felt like ice. Javed sat back up, taking in her peaceful repose. Her face was gentle, like she was sleeping. Javed’s face crinkled, tears flooding his vision. He leaned down, cradling her in his arms.

“Don’t leave me. Ester, please…don’t leave me.” His voice was wavering. “T-take m-m…” he stopped. If it were possible, he would gladly trade his life for hers. But his life was a poor trade. He was worthless. Realization started to flood through him. He clutched her tighter, as if he would keep the world from taking her away.

***

“Javed, we have to get out of here. We’re going to draw attention, and people will notice that you’re missing.” Anafenza tried to get his attention. “Plus, we have to figure out how to explain what happened to…” she placed her hand on Javed’s shoulder, and immediately had to recoil from an intense wave of hatred, like a roaring flame. “Javed?” she asked quietly, her voice betraying a hint of fear.

Javed turned slowly, inch by inch, to face Anafenza. His face was scrunched in the most horrific visage. One of his eyes was turning blood red. She had never seen him look like this, and indeed, couldn’t recall seeing anything like it in all her days. She knew he was in pain. She could intellectually understand that he was experiencing some terrible emotions. But seeing his face made her realize that she…had…no idea.

Anafenza knew that if she were able to, she would have been bawling like a baby. It wasn’t even Ester, although this was…a tragic misunderstanding. (And one that could have been prevented, she couldn’t help thinking, though she banished that thought as soon as it appeared.) No, she was only worried about Javed. And not just because he needed to fulfil the prophecy, though that was a big part of it. No, she realized that she cared about him, a lot, and wanted him to be happy. And seeing him like this, Anafenza knew that she had failed. She had let him be hurt, and in the cruelest way. Physical torture would have been preferable to him. Anafenza ached for the release of tears that the living had access to.

“Javed, I didn’t want this to happen,” she said truthfully. Javed didn’t react. “I know you’re hurting,” she groaned. “I know you’re in pain. Please! Let me help you! We’ll get through this!” She was pleading with him, in a way that she had never done in her life. Even when she had been executed, she had faced it with a sense of sacrifice and duty. What was different here? The spirit guardians had done their duty. They had protected the grove from an outsider. And Anafenza knew that Ester was not one of them. Anafenza had been teaching and working with Javed, and he still had hesitations. Ester would probably have reported them, or attacked them outright. But none of that mattered right now.

“Javed, please…” She floated close again and tried to embrace him, only to be buffeted with a painful wave of negative energy. She caught the murderous look in Javed’s eyes. “Javed…?”

“Don’t…touch me,” he spat out through gritted teeth. “Leave…me…be.” He was struggling to get the words out between a living rigor mortis that affected his whole body. He gathered Ester’s corpse into his arms, rising to his feet. He looked towards the grove, then turned and looked towards the Aerie in the distance. Then he looked out into the desert, facing north. Slowly, one foot in front of the other, he began trudging out into the wastes.

“Javed!” Anafenza yelled, trying to snap him out of his trance. But he didn’t respond. Her shoulders slumped. It was over. She had failed. Again. She looked back at the grove. While the others believed that the instruments were interchangeable, she knew how difficult it had been to find someone, of the line of Daghatar, with the appropriate training and temperament to fulfil the prophecy. If only she had not died, she would never have had to get Javed involved. If only she were smarter, stronger, GOOD ENOUGH!

She couldn’t face Javed now. The hate flowing through him, it was too painful. Especially after the closeness they had shared. Anafenza had truly thought that…that they were connected. Closer than anyone she could imagine. Javed had let her in. She had made herself vulnerable to him. So it hurt even more for him to lash out at her.

Anafenza watched him leave. She knew Javed didn’t know what he was doing. She knew she would need to follow him, if only to stop him from getting himself killed. Javed was still the lynchpin for their plans going forward, regardless of what the ancestors thought. And Anafenza knew now, despite suspecting it before, that she was a fool. A fool for ever believing that she was special.

She was just a dead woman, a spirit, a tool for the glory of her people. That was all she was, and that was all she needed to be. Her feelings subsided, soothed. Anafenza could still feel pangs as she watched Javed leave, carrying the corpse of his dear friend. But now she could put things in their proper place. She would serve Javed as his guide. She would bring him back. And she would help him to fulfil his destiny.

After a moment, she began to follow him into the wastes, keeping her respectful distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Act 1!
> 
> I hope to go back and fix some mistakes, while also learning from them for the next act. This has been a real learning experience, and I love it.


	6. Chapter 6

They walked in silence for hours. Javed could feel his body protesting the forced march. Rather than stop, he just channeled sun magic to heal his muscles, and continued on. It wasn’t a substitute for rest, but it allowed him to keep going. 

Javed’s conscious mind was silent. There was nothing to say, nothing to think about. He focused only on putting one foot in front of the other. This was the way to deal with a forced march. Only, in this case, the forced part was his own doing. 

Javed didn’t know where he was going. He only knew he couldn’t go back to the Aerie. Not with Ester missing. Even if they didn’t immediately suspect him, Javed knew he wouldn’t be able to withstand even the most innocuous questioning. He couldn’t even bring himself to think about what had just happened, even as he hefted the heavy weight balanced over his shoulder.

He had wrapped Ester in her own cloak, taking special care to cover her face. Javed couldn’t bear to look into those eyes. Lifeless, yet accusing. Deep down, he could feel the storm of emotion that he had barely managed to restrain. It felt distant, like he was someone else, or a spirit, walking outside of his body. But he could feel a queasiness resulting from the denied emotions. _I’ll have to face this sooner or later,_ he thought. _But first I have to lay this,_ his mind glossed over her identity, to rest.

Javed didn’t bother to look back for Anafenza. After what he’d said to her, he wouldn’t have been surprised if she abandoned him for good. He was a terrible person, hurting everyone who had tried to help him. But if he let those emotions drive him, he would flee and stick his head in the sand. Javed had made his decision. He needed to do right, right now, and only then move on to rectifying his next sin.

The sun rose as he marched. Despite everything, Javed marveled at the beauty of the silent sunrise. It was awe inspiring. He almost felt like the world was trying to show him that there was still hope. But Javed resisted dwelling on that notion. Contentment was a killer. The killer of dreams, the killer of ambition. Right now, Javed wanted nothing more than to rest. To turn to Anafenza for comfort, to cry his eyes out. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to go home. But that was impossible. 

He had killed Ester because he refused to make the hard decisions. He could never be so neglectful again. Everything must be premeditated. Every action must be planned, and purposefully enacted. It would be hard, but he would have to reach out to change the world around him. This would be difficult, as Javed had been trained to accept his lot in life, but he had to try.

The day progressed from a pleasant sunrise to a beating downpour of heat and light. The heat was unpleasant, but the direct sunlight was worse. Javed could feel his exposed skin heating up exponentially. His armor, ironically, was designed to keep off the sun and breathe, but of course he hadn’t taken that in his flight. _If I don’t find a place to rest, out of the sun, I’m gonna be cooked alive._

Fortunately, as he marched, Javed noticed an oasis in the distance. He adjusted his course to make for the copse of trees. With the promise of a cool rest so close at hand, Javed could feel his excitement building. But he forced it down. He needed to control his breathing, control his adrenaline, to avoid premature exhaustion. He forced himself to continue at the same pace, and ignore the oasis, outside of making sure he was still on track. He put one foot in front of the other, until he had made it to the shade of the trees.

Once there, Javed wobbled dumbly for a moment, breathing heavily after the long journey. He focused on breathing in through the nose, taking in the cool smell of the oasis. Then Javed set his precious cargo down, and allowed himself to rest, his hands on his knees. His muscles instinctively started to relax, but he forced them to mind.

Step one, he thought, water. He looked around for any kind of water source that would sustain greenery in the desert. There was nothing obvious, but he did notice the damp soil. Javed knelt down and began digging with his hands. Sure enough, the soil moistened the deeper he dug, and eventually he saw water gathering in the hole he had made. Javed felt a smile creep over his face for the first time in hours, and took a cautious handful for a sip.

Once he had refueled, Javed turned to his next task. He sized up each tree in the oasis, before finding what he was looking for. A suitable tree for Ester’s last resting place. Javed began digging underneath the tree, being careful not to harm the roots. The soil was soft and damp from the spring that fed this grove. Javed felt Anafenza’s presence approach, but he didn’t look up from his task.

From what Javed had seen last night, he didn’t need to dig too deep. The tree would do most of the work of securing the body. He stopped when the hole was a little bigger than Ester’s body. (He refused to think _corpse._ ) Even though the soil was soft and moist, his fingernails were cracked and bleeding when he finished. Javed stared at his hands. _When did that happen?_ he wondered idly, mindless of the strain he was putting on his body.

Then Javed turned to the next step. He gathered the package he had carried all this way, into his arms, respectfully carrying what was left of Ester to the graveside. He finally removed her cloak, laying it down in the grave as a setting. And now, with everything in place, he turned his gaze upon her.

Ester almost looked as if she were sleeping. Her face was peaceful. Javed leaned in, watching for the slightest movement or hint of breath. She was completely still. It was so strange. Javed had seen death, had killed, and was even willing to die for a proper cause, but he had never really dwelt on what it meant to be dead. Javed opened Ester’s eyelid, looking at her deep brown pupils. In life, they had been so warm, so deep, that he had been afraid to look into them for too long, like staring at the sun. Now they were different. There was no trace of Ester in there.

She reminded him of nothing more than a puppet with its strings cut. Lifeless, a facsimile of the real thing. He could hardly believe that this had been his Ester. Something had left. And now, more than ever, he could appreciate what it was. Her spirit. And that’s what he needed to fix.

Javed gently maneuvered her into the hole. She looked so lonely there, in the ground, that he felt a fleeting impulse to keep her company. _Nonsensical,_ he grumbled. He felt inclined to hold off covering her up in the earth, so he pulled out his saber, and began carving her name into the tree bark. Anafenza took this moment to appear fully. 

“Javed, what are you doing?”

***

He stood silent for a moment, not responding to her question, and then a shudder ran through his body. Anafenza merely waited. She knew what he was trying to do, but they needed to talk about this. She braced herself for any venom that he might throw her way.

“Ana…” he began, and his voice was husky. He let the sword fall to the side, and Anafenza could see the word, the name he had carved. Ester. Her heart went out to him. He didn’t turn to face her, but she could sense the sniffs and sobs that he was trying to hide. “I… _did_ …this. I need to make it right. If I don’t do this, Ester will be lost forever.”

“Not lost,” Anafenza replied. “Where do you think all of the dead go who aren’t buried in kin trees? We aren’t saving the dead by what we do, we are pledging them to continued service.” She waved her hand for emphasis. “And it’s only done to those who are believers. Do you honestly think Ester would want to be tied to a kin tree, like the ones who ended her life? She’s a _Dromokan._ ”

Javed had been tracing Ester’s name on the tree with his hand, and as she finished, he clutched his arms around the trunk. Groaning, he wrung himself out against the unyielding tree, leaving bloody tracks from his fingertips. He sobbed openly now, and Anafenza forced herself to watch stoicly. This was her fault, and she could do nothing to make it right. Nothing, except suffer with him. Suffer, by watching him suffer. She felt the shame, the helplessness, wash over her like an errant sand storm, unopposed.

“I miss her,” Javed whispered. Anafenza could sense it easily as his lips mouthed the words. “And she’s just… _gone._ I don’t know if I can do this.”

Anafenza wanted to reassure him. She wanted to say of course he would get through this, and time would temper the pain. She wanted to tell him that she was here for him. She wanted to tell him that things would get better. But she felt ashamed to. It wasn’t her place. So she merely observed.

Javed paused, as if he were waiting for a response. When she didn’t, he chuckled. He turned around, still not meeting her eye, but she could see a wry smile on his face. Then he fainted dead away. 

It shocked her, and she was able to see in his eyes as he fell that he was shocked too, before he lost consciousness. It had been so unexpected that Anafenza didn’t even have time to cry out. Javed lay at the side of the impromptu grave he had dug. She hastened to check on him, and aside from being unconscious, he was stable. Anafenza felt a surge of relief. He needed to rest, anyway. And she needed to tend to his wounds. She idly wondered if this was the new normal, Javed lacking any sense of self-care and preservation, and Anafenza binding him up after his foolish behavior.

She floated near his side, letting her spectral fingers trail along his skin. He felt warm. Anafenza could see the pink forming on his sunburnt skin. Yes, she would need to heal that for him too, if he had even noticed by now. He would soon, that was for sure. She glanced at his fingers, where the nails were chipped and torn, and caked with muddy blood.

Anafenza felt a moment of panic. Could she really do this? Could she keep him from killing himself, even unintentionally? Javed was a strong warrior, but to her, the living were so frail. Life could be taken in an instant. And Javed needed to be alive. That spark, that fire, it was crucial. Anafenza cursed herself. _Is that all you care about? The cause?_

_No,_ she answered herself. _Javed needs to be alive because that’s what makes Javed, Javed! He's so different from the spirits that I usually work with._

Anafenza tried to remember back to her human life. It was harder with every passing day. She wondered if she had ever been so impetuous, so passionate. What had she missed out on?

If she had met Javed then, would it have even mattered?

Anafenza tired of these thoughts and floated up to examine Javed’s handiwork. He’d done a pretty good job of reproducing the outward appearance of a kin tree burial, but it lacked the blessing and dedication that would invoke it with meaning. She wondered idly if she should give in and grant Javed’s wish. _No!_ she groaned. _Just be firm. He has to learn._ Preoccupied with these thoughts, Anafenza was oblivious to a growing presence.

“Hello.”

“Gah!” was Anafenza’s eloquent response. Her heart jumped, or it would have, if she still had a physically beating heart. She was suddenly made aware of the other presence. A…spirit? _Oh no,_ she thought. 

Ester waved at her with a conciliatory look on her face. “I guess this is awkward,” she said. 

***

Anafenza could only stare at first, but then snapped out of it. “What are you doing here?” she asked the other spirit, for spirit she was, now that Anafenza took a closer look. Well, this was going to be…something. Anafenza forced a smile. 

“So you’re the one who got Javed to betray his clan.”

Anafenza was brought up short. There was no anger in Ester’s voice, merely certainty.

“I’ve been educating him about the truth of his history,” Anafenza clarified.

“Right…” Ester drawled. “And you want him to turn his back on all of his brothers and sisters, abandon everything that he stood for. For what? The dead? Let the dead bury the dead.”

Anafenza felt her hackles go up. She wanted to be nice, here, in light of everything. But it was sentiments like this that she felt proved her right about the other woman. “There’s more to it than that,” she began.

“Spare me,” Ester interrupted.

Anafenza glared. “Why don’t you ask him about it?” she said, gesturing to Javed’s unconscious form.

Ester flinched, and Anafenza couldn’t help a brief feeling of smugness. Ester looked at Javed with reticence. “I think I’ll pass.”

Anafenza’s baser instincts prodded her to press the advantage, but she resisted, and felt sad instead.

Ester still looked at Javed, where he lay. “You son of a bitch,” she whispered, as she sat by his head. Anafenza felt a thrill of uncertainty, but she forced it down. She couldn’t help the niggling thought that Ester had more right to be here.

Ester trailed her spectral fingers along Javed’s hair and face, and Anafenza felt a moment of déjà vu. The look on Ester’s face matched how Anafenza had felt, looking down at the worn out warrior. Then Ester shoved her fist through Javed’s face. “Gack!” Anafenza gasped, despite herself. Javed mumbled, and brushed his nose.

Anafenza glared, but Ester was looking at her hand appraisingly. Then she looked to the side, and saw her own corpse. “Oh, wow,” she said. She hovered over without thinking, gazing upon her fleshy doppelganger. 

Ester waved her hand in front of her bodies face. Of course there was no response. “Oh wow, this is real,” she said. “I was wondering if this was a dream, but it’s not. This is really happening. I’m dead.”

“Yes,” Anafenza began, feeling guilt and compassion and shame. 

“I don’t even know why I’m still here,” Ester said, forceful in her confusion. Anafenza thought to reply, but Ester continued on. “I thought I loved you, Javed. But it turns out I didn’t know anything about you.” Ester’s face had screwed up with emotion, emotion that could no longer be physically expressed.

“I think you knew more than you feel,” Anafenza replied. Ester looked up at her glumly. “Javed struggled greatly. He felt-, feels great loyalty to the Dromoka Clan.”

“Loyal soldiers don’t consort with spirits!” Ester retorted. “Loyal soldiers don’t get their clanmates killed!”

Anafenza didn’t trust herself to respond, so she merely gestured to the grave that Javed had been building. Ester flinched again.

“I don’t understand,” Ester continued. “Why did it have to be this way? Why was this our lot in life? What could have changed this?” Anafenza didn’t respond. There were no answers to her questions.

Ester looked down at Javed once more. “I want to hate you. I want to, but I can’t. If anything, I want to be alive so I can be by your side once more.” She laughed weakly. “Isn’t that pathetic?” 

Anafenza wanted to tell her that she didn’t think it was pathetic. Instead, she said, “We could make a kin tree here, for you. It would allow your spirit to stay in the realm of the living.”

Ester waved her hand dismissively. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t want to spend any more time in this sad, weird, little world. I just want to say goodbye to him, and then leave.”

Anafenza hesitated, then spoke, “You can talk to him now.” Ester quirked an eyebrow at her. “If you maintain physical contact, you should be able to speak into his mind. He might even be able to respond.”

Ester appeared to mull that over, then steeled herself, and sat down next to Javed’s reclining form. She placed her hand on Javed’s forehead, and then silence reigned in the oasis. Anafenza couldn’t sense the words, the emotions that were being shared between the two. But she could feel an atmosphere of intimacy that prevailed in the grove. 

As the moments stretched on, Anafenza felt the slightest twinge of jealousy. Something that had, until now, been only between herself and Javed, was being intruded on. It felt like being beaten in another way. She only allowed herself to feel that emotion for a moment after recognizing it, before stamping it out like a rogue spark.

After a while, Ester stood. Anafenza glanced at her questioningly. Ester avoid her gaze, before announcing, “Well, I think I’m ready to go.” Anafenza’s eyes widened a bit, then she nodded. “Do you know…what it’s like…on the other side?” Ester asked hesitantly.

“I don’t,” Anafenza replied, “never been.” Ester laughed ruefully at that. “…Are you ok?” Anafenza felt compelled to ask.

“I’m just fine,” Ester replied. “I still may not understand what’s going on, but I feel ready. I’ve said my goodbyes.” Her eyes cut to Javed. Then she looked back up at Anafenza. “I guess I should say goodbye to you, too. Well…farewell, spirit.”

Anafenza felt something strange, a sense of melancholy and loss. Her personal mission had always been to protect her brothers and sisters. Joining the Abzan Remnants had been a continuance of that. Yet it had all led to this. “Farewell, Ester. And the name’s Anafenza.”

“I don’t care.”

Anafenza recoiled in shock, but Ester smiled and winked, softening the jest. Then she started to fade. Anafenza made the decision right then to forgive her everything. She could only hope that Ester could forgive her…forgive Javed.

As Ester’s spirit form faded from sight, Anafenza heard her last words. “Take care of him… _Anafenza…_ ” Then she was gone.

***

Anafenza waited, deep in thought, running back over that unexpected encounter. Eventually, Javed began to stir, breaking her out of her reverie.

Javed’s eyes fluttered open, but he remained stationary, trying to regain his bearings. Anafenza waved to draw his attention without startling him. “How was your nap?” she asked, smiling gently.

Javed shook his head, and sat up. He was about to accidentally step into the grave, but he caught himself, and leaned against the tree instead. “Weird. I…had a weird dream.”

“Oh?” Ananfenza asked.

“Yeah…whatever,” Javed groaned. “It wasn’t important.” Anafenza’s eyes narrowed at that. She didn’t know exactly what Ester has said to Javed, but it wasn’t unimportant. She wished that Javed would care again.

Javed hesitated, then spoke, “Hey, Ana…fenza.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re a spirit.”

“That’s right, Javed, I am a spirit,” Anafenza laughed. “What is your question?”

“Have you…seen Ester?”

Anafenza froze. “Why do you ask?” she countered, trying to buy time.

“I don’t know. I just figured…you might see things that I don’t.” He sighed. “I’m just curious.”

Anafenza pondered how to answer this. But she realized that she couldn’t come up with a good lie, so she decided to go with the truth. “Yeah, I saw her.”

Javed’s eyes widened, and his breath hitched. “So…she must have been here…It wasn’t a dream.”

“No…she told me she was going to say something to you, while you slept,” Anafenza replied. Javed snapped his eyes to her immediately at that. Then he sank back into thought.

Anafenza was considering asking him what Ester had said to him, when Javed let out a choked sob. Once begun, his shoulders shook from his gulping sobs as tears poured down his face. Anafenza watched as Javed surrendered to his grief, letting it flow through his body in fits and spasms. Eventually, it began to wind down, and Javed sucked in deep breathes, exhausted by the show of emotion.

Anafenza waited in silence until Javed had regained his composure. “How are you feeling now?” she asked gently.

“I think…Okay?” Javed replied, a hint of surprise in his voice. Anafenza just smiled.

Javed stood up, and looked down into the grave for Ester’s body. “Ester…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. But it did. I promise not to let your death go in vain. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I promise to make this worth it. I won’t ever forget you. Wherever I go, you will go with me.” Javed reached down and undid the pendant from around Ester’s neck, taking it and tying it around his own.

Javed stepped back, taking one last look at Ester’s peaceful face. Then he began shoveling the loose dirt back into the hole. Ester’s body was covered, bit by bit. Javed couldn’t help breaking into a few more sobs as he covered her face. He hunched over, patting the dirt into place. Finally, he rolled onto his back, in a similar position to the one he had been resting in earlier.

Anafenza sighed, and knelt over him. “Will you let me tend your wounds, now?”

Javed started. “Oh! Yeah…yeah. Thank you…Anafenza.” Anafenza nodded and began concentrating on summoning the healing light. She watched as the reddening sunburn faded, and spent extra time healing his fingers. Javed shed more tears, this time from relief as his body was finally able to relax.

Anafenza did what she could, and then continued trailing her fingers along Javed’s skin. Eventually, he looked up at her, and she smiled. _Hi._

He smiled back at her. _Hi._

There was so much she wanted to tell him, to ask him. But even with the intimacy of soul to soul communication, she didn’t know how to begin. She also wasn’t sure she wanted to unload on him again. The last time had left her vulnerable and hurt, and while she didn’t want to withdraw from him, she had learned a bit of restraint. When the time was right, maybe...

Javed sat up and pulled away from her. “Ana…I wanted to apologize to you too. I know I must have been hell to deal with last night and this morning-” He was cut off as she held her finger up to his lips.

 _Don’t apologize,_ she thought into his mind. _You have nothing to be sorry about on my account. I understand. I just wish there was more I could do._

Javed smiled, and touched her leg with his hand. She could feel his aura, and everything felt warm and right. 

***

Javed was happy he had been able to patch things up with Anafenza. Losing Ester had made him realize how traumatic that could be, and while little could be done to make up for it now, the least he could do is keep from making the same mistakes.

He was also happy he had been able to show respect for Ester’s passing, in some way. Javed didn’t know how much difference it had made, but it had made a difference to him, being able to say goodbye properly. In addition to that dream…that may not have been a dream.

***

He could still remember it clearly. In fact, it was clearer than most of his memories. It felt like it had been carved into his mind. Javed had heard a voice, calling his name, so familiar. And then she had been there. Ester.

The first thing he felt was fear. He wasn’t sure why. “Ester, you’re-! Ester, I’m so sorry.” He hung his head.

“I can tell,” she replied coolly.

Javed perked his head up at that. “Ester…I’ll do anything. If you want me to kill myself, I wi-“

“What?!” Ester exploded. “Why would I want that?”

Javed gaped. “I-I-I-“

“Javed, it’s true. I’m dead. Something you were involved in, and I became involved, and now I’m dead.” Ester cast her eyes to the side sullenly, but her voice wasn’t accusing.

“Ester, it’s all my fault. I was trying to do what I thought was right, but I wanted you so much, that I couldn’t let you go,” Javed confessed. “I should have picked one or the other. It’s my fault you’re dead.”

“I don’t know,” Ester replied. “On my list of those responsible for my death, you’re not at the top. I would pick, oh, I don’t know, those jerks who cut me down!” she shouted, then she smiled.

Javed tried to protest. “But I-“

“Javed!” Ester interrupted, “Do you really think you’re all powerful?”

Javed blinked. “What?”

“I followed you out into the desert. I came with you to Raz. I was watching you for Dragonlord Dromoka. And I remember you shouting for those spirits to stop. There were so many other actors in play for what happened. You can’t take all of that weight onto yourself.” Ester smiled, at once both mocking and comforting.

“Ester…” Javed tried. “I miss you. I miss you so much!”

The smile faded from Ester’s face, and she became serious. “I know. But this happens. Either one of us could have fallen in battle. How would you have felt then?”

“I would have felt-“ and Javed froze. He realized that he would have felt the same pain, of having her taken away from him. Ester smiled, reading his reaction.

“You see, it was destiny. Our…thing we had, was never going to end happily,” Ester closed her eyes and sighed. “I was already feeling desperate at the thought of losing you, at the end of our assignment. That end just came a little bit earlier than expected.”

“NO.”

“Huh?” Ester looked up at Javed, and was surprised to see his steadfast expression.

“Ester, it didn’t have to be that way,” Javed stated.

“What are you talking about, Javed? I told you-“ Ester began.

“I’ve seen another life, Ester, another world,” Javed cut in. “We should have been able to live together. We were pawns of fate. Well, no longer!” Javed clenched his fist. “I’ve seen the past, and I believe in a better future. I don’t know the way, but I won’t stop until I find it!”

Ester stared at Javed after his outburst. Then she smiled. “Well, that sounds like the Javed I knew, full of passion. I don’t know what you’re going on about, but I do know you.” She closed her eyes. “If you feel so strongly about it, then promise me something.”

Javed looked at her. “Promise…?”

“Promise me that you’ll make that future come true!” Ester commanded. “And wherever I am, I will be able to know, that my death wasn’t in vain. That it paved the way for something better. Okay?” She held out her hand.

Javed looked at her, then grabbed her hand and pulled her in for an embrace. He held her close. Was it all a dream? He could feel her as if she were really there. Was his mind just telling him what he wanted to hear?

Ester looked up at Javed, and pulled him down for a kiss. Javed allowed himself to enjoy this, to take one last opportunity to be close to her.

When they pulled apart, Ester held onto his hand. “Javed, promise me one more thing.” She looked up into his eyes, and there was a look of sadness in hers. “Promise that you’ll never forget me.”

“Never!” Javed whispered fiercely. 

Ester smiled, and let Javed’s hand go. She turned and started to walk away, then stopped. “And Javed?” she said, not turning around.

Javed watched her expectantly. “Yeah?”

She turned her head to look back at him. “Find a way to be happy,” she said. “For me. I’ll be sad if you don’t.”

Javed didn’t know what to say to that, but with that, she was gone. As he watched the space where she had been, he guessed that was for him to figure out.

***

Javed was leaning back against the tree that served as Ester’s final resting place. But rather than the tensed anguished expression he had worn since last night, he reclined. The tension had worn out of his body. It took too much energy to be that upset, and his recent experiences had allowed him to release that building pressure.

“So…what now?” Anafenza asked. It wasn’t a demanding tone, but rather inquisitive.

Javed wondered about that. What now? The Dromoka would be looking for him as a traitor by now. Without Ester, he had no chance of clearing his name. And he didn’t care for throwing himself on the mercy of the Abzan remnants. While he knew that they would try to help him, he couldn’t imagine being dependent on them so soon after…what they did. He didn’t trust himself to respond well.

“I want to…get out of here,” he replied. Anafenza nodded, as if she had been expecting this response.

“Where do you want to go?” she followed up. Javed thought about that. It wasn’t much of a debate. The deserts of Arashin were the southernmost inhabited area of Tarkir. Directly to the north were the wide open plains of the Kolaghan. Anyone traveling their lands would be set upon by raiders and warkites, but especially him, who was of the house of Dromoka. Or Abzan. Not that he expected the raiders to tell the difference. To make it worse, the expansive plains made travel by horseback the only real option.

To the Northeast were the foul, toxic swamps of the Silumgar. If the territory of the Kolaghan was dangerous because of raiders and dragons, the disgusting, dying dreadlands of Silumgar were a nightmare for any living thing. Zombie servants and toxic dragonlords were the only creatures that could thrive there, though ambitious types tried to make deals with the poison breathing dragons of Silumgar’s brood. Most failed, in the end. Where else would the zombies come from?

 _No,_ Javed thought. Those ways were asking for a quick or lingering death, respectively. There was only one right answer for now. “I’m going to Ojutai lands,” he stated.

Anafenza nodded again, as she had reached the same conclusion. “The Ojutai come the closest to resembling civilization, in the lands that aren’t Arashin. Their dragons aren’t inherently destructive (only potentially), and we may be able to hide out for a while there and plan our next move. How does that sound to you?” she asked.

“Sounds like a plan,” Javed replied. He pushed off to his feet. It was then Javed realized how hungry and thirsty he was after all of his exertions. He felt a pit of cold fear in his stomach. The desert was dangerous, but he had fled unprepared. He had no food or ways to carry water, or indeed any supplies at all! 

Then Javed heard Anafenza laugh. He stared at her incredulously. “That look on your face tells me that you just realized you have no supplies,” she said, a smile tugging at her lips.

Javed looked down. “No,” he replied. Such a rookie mistake! Granted, he had been preoccupied at the time, but without supplies, not only could he not travel, but he might die out here. What a pathetic fate!

Anafenza waved to get his attention. “Javed, I’m not about to let you die out here. You forget that I can do things that you can’t.” She smiled. “I’ll be right back.” And in a whirl of sand, she just disappeared. Javed blinked.

***

After a few minutes, Javed leaned against the tree. He trusted Anafenza, but it was still strange to be alone, in the middle of nowhere. _Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever been really alone. How do I feel about that?_ As he started to ponder that subject, Anafenza breezed in with an updraft of sand.

“Look what I’ve got,” Anafenza smiled. On the ground between them was Javed’s pack, with his shield strapped to it!

Javed couldn’t help beaming. “Anafenza, this is awesome!” He hefted the pack, and noticed that it was filled. “I thought you couldn’t manipulate physical objects?” he said as he opened the pack to check the contents.

Anafenza smiled. “Well, I used some creative thinking,” she replied, as Javed noticed the pack also included a good deal of sand.

Javed smiled back as he understood. But the idea that she would work so hard to help him warmed his heart. “Thank you, Ana, this is a lifesaver,” he said. Anafenza smiled and nodded resolutely.

“How far is the Ojutai border?” Javed asked.

“About 2 days travel,” Anafenza replied. “We can travel by night to avoid the heat of the day, and make for oasis along our route of travel.”

“You can find them?” Javed asked.

“Absolutely,” Anafenza affirmed.

“All right, then,” Javed said, as he dug into the pack for food rations. “We’ll wait until nightfall, and then head out.” 

***

When they decided to head out, the sun was still above the horizon, but the air was already cooling.

Javed looked out in the direction Anafenza had planned their route. “I guess it’s time to go.” He sobered, and turned towards Ester’s grave. He bowed his head in respect. “Goodbye, Ester.”

“Goodbye, Ester,” he heard Anafenza say, and that act filled him with warmth. 

Javed fingered the pendant around his neck. _Though I’m saying goodbye to your grave, Ester, I believe you’re watching over me. I won’t forget you, and I will make meaning out of this tragedy._ He didn’t know how he was going to do that, but he knew he wouldn’t rest until he had.

Javed let out the breath that had caught in his throat, and smiled. It was time to get moving. He looked at Anafenza, and she nodded in agreement. He forced himself to take the first step out of the oasis that had become like home to him, in the course of just one day. That first step broke the spell, and the second one was easier. 

Javed felt the weight of his pack on his shoulders. He felt his sword at his hip. He felt Ester’s pendant around his neck. He felt Ananfenza reach out and hold onto his back, and the opening of the channels between them. He felt the cool wind of the desert dusk. He felt nervous, yet hopeful. 

_Come what may, I’ll endure what this world throws at me, one step at a time,_ he resolved. Anafenza let out a rush of reassurance. Javed smiled, and let her know that he had felt it. They were beginning their journey, and Javed had faith that he would find something out there that would help him know what to do.

Suddenly, he felt a wave of fear, flooding into his body from an external source. He looked around wildly, wondering what had triggered that fear, when he realized it was Anafenza. _Ana?_ he asked, confused.

 _Javed, GET BACK TO THE GROVE!_ she ordered, and the urgency hit him like a rock. He started running back to the relative safety of the trees. As he did, he cast his eyes about to find what had spooked Anafenza, and questioned her through their bond.

 _Javed, I see a dromokan dragon heading in this direction,_ she told him.

 _What?_ He demanded. _How?_

 _They must have followed our trail somehow,_ Anafenza replied. Javed groaned as he realized that he hadn’t been trying to cover up his tracks at all. _Don’t blame yourself, Javed,_ Anafenza told him. _If I was thinking, I would have covered the trail as well. We’re here now, and we just need to hide, ok?_

 _Ok,_ Javed replied. He focused on jogging with his pack, a common exercise for scaleguards. Soon enough, they were back under the cover of the trees. _But Anafenza, if they’ve tracked us this far, won’t they know we’re here?_

 _I’ve got a plan,_ Anafenza reassured him. _I’ll go on ahead and create a fake trail for them to follow. Hopefully the darkness will make it harder to distinguish._

 _Ok,_ Javed said. Anafenza flew down a different path from the one they had planned, creating a mini dust storm to simulate a trail. Javed hunkered down in the center of the grove they had spent the day in. While the leaves and branches would provide most of the cover, Javed crouched down next to Ester’s tree, not willing to take any chances. 

This was dangerous. Not only was a dragon a fierce threat, but where there was one, there might be more. And getting drawn into a battle with his old clan was the last thing he wanted to do. The fact that he consciously thought of them as his old clan made him a little melancholy.

As the still moments passed, Javed began to hear the heavy beat of large wings. They were coming closer. Then they steadied. Javed was tempted to try and see where the dragon was, and what it was looking at, but he forced himself to stay still. Any movement might betray his presence. Javed focused on breathing in, slowly, and breathing out, slowly. He didn’t move, and listened for any change in the sound of the dragon that was hovering above.

There was no sign of alarm that Javed could notice, and he drew renewed energy to keep still. It was working! The dragon flew over top of the grove, and Javed could feel every muscle in his body tense. But he felt hopeful. Once the dragon passed them by, they could escape into the night. And knowing they were being followed was good information to have.

Then Javed’s world exploded into light.

***

Javed’s ears rang as the world faded back into sight. Everything was blurry as Javed tried to push off from the ground. But the whole world seemed to be whirling, and he couldn’t quite manage it. He could make out the trees around him, burning with white fire. _Ugh, the dragon is here,_ he thought.

Javed managed to stumble out of the grove, as what had once been shelter was now a firey death trap. He skidded to his knees in the sand, and heard the dragon cry out as it spotted him. Javed realized then that it hadn’t specifically targeted him with its attack. That was probably an idle blast, hoping to flush out anyone in hiding. And it had worked. 

The heavy beating of the dragon’s wings grew louder as it approached, like an inescapable judgement. _I need to run, hide, something!_ Javed thought. _I need to get out of here!_ But his body wouldn’t obey his commands.

The sound of the dragon was close now, and as Javed looked up towards the source, he saw the dragon, flying in place, looking down on him. Oh, was the only thought that went through Javed’s mind at the familiar appearance of the rulers of his clan. Apex life forms, bulky with muscle, covered with armored scales, possessing the power of flight and devastating magic. His was just the fate of all who stood against that obvious supremacy.

Then the dragon opened its mouth, and a bright light appeared. Javed knew exactly what it was, and felt both terror and awe. While his body had recovered from the surprise attack, now his mind was faltering, failing to tell his body to run. Javed felt the frustration tearing at his soul. _This can't be how this ends!_ he screamed internally.

And then Ananfenza was there. She wrapped an arm around him, sending waves of courage, as with the other she summoned an immense sandstorm, forcing the dragon to retreat to the skies to avoid being caught in it.

“Ana!” Javed cried out.

 _Javed, get up! We have to move!_ Anafenza ordered. Javed nodded, and stumbled to his feet like a newborn camel.

 _Come on!_ He thought to himself, and started running. He could feel Anafenza calculating strategy. The sand storm would keep the dragon off of them, but it would also make it trivial to track them. They needed to lose the dragon somehow, before it could summon reinforcements. Then her train of thought froze and she screamed, both internally and physically, _“Javed, look out!”_

 _Huh?_ Javed thought, and immediately a beam of burning light sliced into his path, inches away from him. It was only luck that it hadn’t incinerated him. Then he heard a scream of pain. Anafenza! He looked around for her, but he couldn’t see her in the whirling sand. They had become separated. Then Javed noticed the sandstorm fading.

Now that it was gone, he was exposed to the dragon again. But where was Anafenza? What did the ending of her spell mean? What was going on? Javed felt racked with fear and doubt. And through it all, that damn dragon was drawing a bead on him! It started charging another breath blast.

_Use…the spirit water…_

Javed eyes widened. That had been Anafenza! He still couldn’t sense her, but he had just heard her voice in his mind. The spirit water! He had received it from the Abzan remnants, but had totally forgotten about it in the meanwhile. Anafenza had been supposed to teach him how to use it later, but there was no later. There was only now.

Javed flung his pack to the ground, and saw the container hanging from the side. He grabbed for it as he saw the night light up with unnatural light. As soon as he got a hand on it, he threw himself into a desperate roll away from where he had just been. The earth shook and sand was thrown into the air as the blast barely missed him. The white flames were not hot, but would scour living flesh from existence. He had seen it enough. A few flames landed on his pack, burning for a few moments before going out.

Without taking time to think, Javed opened the spirit water, and took a drink. And almost spat it back out. It tasted horrible, and burned the whole way down. But immediately he felt strange. Removed from his body. Time seemed to slow down, and the panic that had been setting in retreated. He could still feel it, but it was distant, allowing him to think. He looked up and saw the dragon coming in for attack. Though Javed was perceiving events in real time, part of his mind felt like everything was moving slower.

Well, first things first. Javed gathered mana from the land, and summoned another sand storm, forcing the dragon to retreat again. It was then Javed noticed that he could still sense the dragon’s presence, even though he couldn’t see it. He also sensed Anafenza, who presence was stationary. Javed didn’t know what to make of that, and he could feel the real time part of him freaking out, but in his heightened state of mind, he realized that the dragon was the more pressing threat.

Gathering more mana, Javed focused on the spell he had in mind. Inspired by the breath weapons of the dragons, the same as had been used on him and Anafenza. A ball of light appeared in front of him, the focus of the spell. It was barely restrained, demanding to be unleashed. Javed focused on his target, and released his restraining hold on the spell. The light jumped out of his hands, stretching into a beam, and flying into the heavens. 

Javed noticed he was slightly off target, and adjusted his aim. The initial blast brought the dragon up short, before Javed’s correction swung the beam directly into it. Javed didn’t know what he expected, but the blast shredded scales and cooked flesh away from the bone. The dragon’s wings were shredded and the dragon was actually pushed back from the force. Then the beam faded away, its energy spent. The dragon fell from the sky and crashed to the earth, rising no more.

Javed, satisfied that the threat was neutralized, whirled to find Anafenza. But the spirit water was already wearing off. As Javed’s normal sense of self returned and conflicted with the fading altered state he had experienced, he experienced a sense of vertigo, and had to focus.

“Javed.” Javed turned to see Anafenza floating nearby. “I’m here,” she said.

“Oh thank g-AAAAAGGHHH!” Javed screamed as he noticed her state. The spirit Anafenza…was missing her left arm to the elbow! She was even cradling the stump. It wasn’t bleeding. The end just whisped off into nothing.

Javed rushed to her side, but hesitated. _I have no idea what to do here,_ he realized. He began summoning the other side of sun magic, the healing, empowering side.

“DON’T!” Anafenza yelled, and then gritted her teeth. Stunned, Javed let the mana he’d been gathering disperse. “Don’t touch it. It won’t work anyway, I’m not flesh and blood.” 

“Anafenza,” Javed said, still afraid to touch her, for fear he would hurt her, “Are you in pain?”

“…No, Javed, I’m not in pain,” Anafenza replied in a gentle voice, trying to get a handle on the situation.

Javed motioned helplessly to her missing arm. “I didn’t know that could happen. _What_ happened?”

Anafenza grit her teeth again. “I didn’t know it could happen either… I was hit by the dragon’s breath…”

Javed eyes widened in surprise. Anafenza was taking this surprisingly well, despite their situation. “Can you heal it?”

“Javed, my arm…it’s just gone!” Anafenza shrieked, desperation finally creeping into her voice. Javed held up his hands, wanting to comfort her, but having no idea what to do. He settled for wrapping his arms around her and sending soothing feelings. He could feel her fear and confusion, and it was affecting him. It was tapping into losing Ester, and he could feel the panic brewing in his own soul. 

_But that won’t do anyone any good, so I have to be calm,_ Javed thought to himself.

Unintentionally, Anafenza heard it. _You’re right, Javed,_ she replied, with effort. _We are…still in danger. We need to keep moving._

 _Anafenza, maybe we should take it easy-_ he began.

 _No!_ Anafenza replied authoritatively. _A dragon won’t just_ go _missing. They will look for it. And we can’t use the sand storm to hide ourselves from sight. We need to be ahead of their search. We’ll have enough trouble at the border._

That made sense to Javed, but he couldn’t help asking, _Are you sure?_

 _Yes,_ Javed, Anafenza replied. _Thank you for your concern. …I’m sorry I lost my composure. But I’m ok now, and we need to keep moving. We can figure this out,_ she said, motioning to her arm, her eyes trailing a moment too long, _when we’re safe in Ojutai territory._

Javed wasn’t sure if it was really ok, and his heart was still troubled, but he knew that she had a point. _Ok, let’s get moving. Can you travel?_ Anafenza stared at him for a moment, then floated off the ground while a smile tugged at her lips. Javed blushed. _I was just asking,_ he mumbled. He could feel Anafenza’s laughter, and it eased the tension.

They started off, and though she could float faster than Javed could walk, Anafenza came to a rest on her usual spot, leaning on Javed’s back, clinging with her good hand. They turned their backs to the grove, where the flames were just winding down, now just another indistinguishable oasis in the middle of the wastes.


End file.
